A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am at the moment going through the stage of divorcing my enotionally and sometimes physically abusive ex. The last time I saw him was the beginning of dec when he caused criminal damage to my car. For the first time ever I stood up to him and got the police involved as I had always let him get away with stuff before. The police also advised him not to try and make contact with me. Two years ago I served him with divorce papers and he responded back to them by getting himself a solicitor and denying all the abuse, but the divorce was stopped as I stupidly got back with him. This time when I have served him with the papers he has not responded and that was 2 days before valentines day, I know for definate he has recieved the petition. I am wondering why this time he is not responding? Anybody got any views to this. I will still get my divorce although it will take a while longer.
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (25 March 2008):
 Because he doesn't want to accept that you truly would leave him. By dragging it out, he can keep on denying that the marriage is over. No wife of him would dare do this and you will come to your "senses".
Consult with your lawyer as to the next steps to be taken. Abusive partners never let their exes go easily.
Sad to say, but getting out of abusive relation is never easy and will have to consist of small steps, one at a time. You already came a long way but the journey ain't over yet. Just continue with the procedure, even he can't ignore the law. Yes it will take time, and cause a lot of pain, but hang in there.
Remember that there are specialists support groups if you need to talk. Sometimes the most important thing to learn is that you are not alone. By hearing the stories of others you can regonize the patterns in your own life.
A
female
reader, Gena Bullock  +, writes (25 March 2008):
 It sounds like he's possessive, to me. He doesn't want to give you up, however, he does want to continue to harrass and abuse you in any way possible. I would NOT under ANY circumstnaces, see him in private--no matter what. He is obviously unstable and may do you more bodily harm or worse!
This is not to scare you, but I've seen this kind of behavior before with my son in law and my daughter...he pretends to be 'normal' in front of others in your presence, but as soon as they disappear, he goes in for the 'kill' and verbally abuses her and pushes her around.
Your ex to be needs psychiatric help and unless you keep a restraining order on him...(not that a piece of paper does much good)he will continue to attempt to get at you. Watch your back and God speed. Gena
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