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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I'm afraid I have to leave... I don't know what is with him. He says he loves me, but I don't feel it. He is not looking at me nice, and he never wants me in bed. He is impotent, but not sick. He can have night erections. He says I should trust him... But , I can't... I really think, we tried everything. We have been living in this misery at the last 5 years. I really want to hold onto my marriage... But I can't. I really didn't want this to come, but I have no energy left...We don't don't have joy to be together. We went for therapy, he seems very closed. Nothing works really. I'm not giving it up too early, but can I go on like this for an other 20 years? I feel he has an issue, and what can I do to make anything better? What do you think?
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female
reader, jessica04  +, writes (3 April 2009):
 If he is still having night erections while sleeping, then he most likely has a psychological issue going on.
How long have you been in counseling? Is it just counseling for him? For both of you?
If he is willingly going to counseling, and wants this problem resolved, then I would advise to stick through this. However, since a person can only change or start to fix their problems if they really want to, I would be keeping an eye on his activities and participation in counseling. If he is closed off as you say, and offers nothing for your therapist to work with, then it might be time to pull out of this marriage.
I suggest more aggressive counseling for you two and therapy for him for his E.D. Just look after yourself, you know what feels best for you.
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