A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i've been married for 6yrs and i always knew that my husband was into porn but i didn't know how bad til i look into his computer.wow i thought he's really into this.but at frist i thought it was just a guy thing that all guys do this.is it?then about two weeks ago i was going through the pc and i found hat he's now into cybersex with women from the net.and most of the wome he's talking to are very young teens and young adults.i don't know what to do anymore.i'm confused and very upset about this.i was wondering why we really don't have a sex life.could you help me.should i leave him or stay.
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cybersex, porn, sex life, the internet Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008): My husband was looking at young teens and actively searching the net for them. I said some harsh things to him but it did make him realise and I totally agree with everything that Ginalolabridga has said!
Good Luck!
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (8 December 2008):
 Viewing porn and having cybersex are two very different things. Draw the line in the sand immediately, especially since it is affecting your own sex life. Tell him if he crosses the line again, he's looking at the door. And mean it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2008): You really need to get out hon. The first step is to make a PLAN. Where to live, finances, support/help from social services...I suggest moving in 1 day. He has some serious mental problems, and he's broken your marriage vows. If there's any chance of hope, he needs to agree to go to a PROFESSIONAL sex councelor. That's the ONLY option to stay.This will be hard, but you will look back and be relieved you gave yourself a 2nd chance at life and love. God Bless.
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A
female
reader, TalkingHelps  +, writes (8 December 2008):
 It is wrong that he's contacting young girls sexually via the net, please talk to him about hits
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A
female
reader, jazzy cat  +, writes (8 December 2008):
i cant beleive you would ask this question to stangers?? your husband is looking at under age pornographic material!! he is a liar and a stranger to you!! answer the question yourself. want to be married to a liar and stranger, sex weirdo?????? sorry thats happened to your life but that is really not good!!! so get a grip and get out!!!
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A
female
reader, Ginalolabridga + ♥, writes (8 December 2008):
 You need to speak with him as i feel he has addictions to this stuff i have said over and over on this site that porn is not harmless to some it becomes an addiction they cannot give up until it is brought to their attention and dealt with this is what you have to do now.
He is delving into other areas where you say young teens and young adults are on show to be honest none of us know their real age and what he is viewing could be classed as illegal! that is why i feel it is getting out of hand he cannot be viewing such material and honestly feel it is alright.
The problem with porn is once hooked the same old same won't do it after a while and they surf to find other explicit material and there is always the danger of doing other things when it has reached addictive cycles.
The reason your not having a sex life is because of the porn he will be jerking off to that willy nilly (excuse the pun)
He needs to address this now if you google Porn Addiction they are loads of material you can show him and read he has to recognise he has a problem it is getting him to admit it once he realises he has and it has got out of control you need to do some work to help him recover first thing i would do would be to get a porn blocker on your pc i would also put blockers on your tv so he cannot access adult channels.
When he can't access it he can't look! for a while he will become irratable, snappy, it is almost like they take on withdrawl symptons but it is for their own good you do this because he needs help and will rely on your support through this.
Porn is a multi million pound business and it will always be there it is up to us to keep it out our home and our lives you are seeing firsthand now how it is infringing on your marriage, your intimacy, and your husband's time away from you.
My husband was addicted to this filth too and we no longer have it in our lives our home and lives are porn free and he is a healthier man for it and i have back a normal husband now!!
I would urge you to do something about this asap the more you accept his use of porn the worse he will become he is showing clear signs now how out of hand it becomes keep us posted as to how you get on good luck.
Ginalolabridga
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A
female
reader, howcomehoney  +, writes (8 December 2008):
 Porn is one thing, cybersex is another... When you say "very young teens", how young are we talking? Like illegal young? Because that's another thing again. I think you and your husband have to sit down and talk about this.
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