A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend suffers from erectile dysfunction. He becomes erect with oral sex, but as soon as we try the other his erection disappears. He says he wants to do it, and has been to his doctor who has ruled out physical causes, and has referred him to a psychologist (though not a specialist sex therapist). he has been seeing her for a month, and no progress has been made yet. We've been seeing each other for 4 and a half months and I really like him, and I was hoping that this situation would resolve when he became more relaxed with me. I'm starting to worry now that it won't ever happen, and I'm wondering if I should split up with him now so as not to prolong the agony. I'd be very sad but I'm not sure I can do this much longer - he cries after every failed attempt. I try and be supportive and say it doesn't matter, but in reality it does - I'm getting increasingly frustrated and having to hide it. Should I wait a bit longer? Is there anything I can do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, lisarocksyoursocksoff +, writes (13 June 2007):
 if you really like this guy then you need to know what is your priority... sex or him... if he can get hard in the first place, it's probbaly not a physical thing.. but an emotional thing, maybe(as mentioned) a lack of confidence... if you like him though i think you should give him a chance, talk through it...look at WHY it's happening.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2007): Stand by him, don't be so harsh!come on we are not all perfect in the sack are we?I personally feel sorry for the guy, he must be real embarrassed and feel like a failure and of course he probably feels under pressure to satisfy you. If you really like him that much then you will stick by him, sex isn't everything after all! The choice is down to you, but if you are not happy then yes it is best to end it.
Good Luck
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A
male
reader, harshbutfair +, writes (13 June 2007):
 I assume that you're a gay couple?
A friend of mine has first-hand experience of this in a straight relationship. He found it hard to keep hard when attempting first time sex with a new partner.
He ordered Cialis over the internet (there are places you can get the proper pills) and took 5mg before sex. After a half-dozen times his confidence was sky high and he then stopped taking the Cialis.
He has never again suffered from this kind of ED. Cheaper, quicker and easier than visiting some psychologist. I'm not saying it's for everyone, I'm not saying it's safe (all drugs have side effects and should be prescribed by a doctor). But it worked for him and he's an absolute sex find now, from what he tells me. I would ask your doctor for this rather than long-winded psychologist sessions.
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