A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My best friend (J) is beginning to like the girl that my other best friend (R) recently broke up with. It's only been a month, she was single now, and my bud J made the move. He doesn't notice how much R is hurt by all of this, and continues to make the move on her anyway. I talked to J, and asked him to lay off, just for R. Yet, J said there's nothing he can do now. Basically, he chose the girl over his 2 best friends. All 3 of us were best friends and basically brother for around 7 years. We told each other each and everything, and were as close as close gets. It hurts me SO much, that I just lost an amazing friend (J), over a girl. I can't get it out of my head, and I can't sleep at night. I want to fix things, but I've tried multiple times already. He clearly doesn't care about us anymore. Advice please..
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female
reader, Angel S  +, writes (18 July 2012):
 Hi,
I knnow he has been your friend for a long time and I guess you and R miss him and are upset with his actions but things like this do happen frequently. J probably knows he was in the wrong approaching a friends ex so soon but he obviously though she was worth the risk. Leave him be, stick with your friend R. Things may not work out between them and then J will soon be coming back, everyone has to learn and make their own experiences and sometimes mistakes. Whether or not this works out is up to them, try not to worry about it yourself, obviously your a caring friend concerning both parties but it really isn't something you need to lose sleep over. Just do what you think is best for now and let time take care of the rest. It is both a healer and a test. Best of luck.
Xo xo
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (18 July 2012):
 The lesson in all this is that GIRLS have what all of us guys want.... and the pursuit of THAT (what girls have) will lead most all of us to compromise whatever we must in order to get that which we want - and which girls have....
Take umbrage that this will continue for the rest of your life... so figure out how to handle it now.....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (18 July 2012):
 Girls choose guys over their best girlfriends too...it happens all the time. I would not be too concerned. He will likely have some kind of issue or conflict with his girl and be running back to his old friends to hang out and complain. This happens a lot at your age though. People are getting out of high school and thinking about starting families, so friends are often brushed aside for a significant other. Don't take it as an insult...it is just something people do. If he is really a friend, he will get into contact with you at some point. If not, you need to be mature enough to let him go and live his life. I don't even talk to people I talked to when I was 20. There is only one friend that I keep in touch with and she lives over two hours away. We never see one another and only email once in awhile. I have made other friends and have moved on. So will you. I know it hurts right now, but you are at a point in your life where people are going to be changing, wanting to start families, and moving on in there lives and you have to realize that it isn't because they dislike you. It's just what people do.
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