A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and recently he confessed to having a one night stand with a friend after we'd been together about a month. I feel terrible and betrayed and I don't know whether I can forgive him. I know he really is sorry and will not do it again, but he is still friends with this girl and it makes me very uncomfortable when they hang out together knowing what I do now. We do have a good relationship generally speaking and I don't want to stop seeing him but how do I get past this? Or should I not forgive him at all? Thanks for your help everyone.
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male
reader, M Proops +, writes (6 February 2014):
I don't think you can trust this bloke,he'll probably sleep with her again.Dump him.
A
male
reader, Gauntlet  +, writes (5 February 2014):
 "I know he really is sorry and will not do it again"
--- That's exactly what swear every cheaters, alcoholics, junkies, corrupted politicians. Hand on heart !
"but he is still friends with this girl"
--- Enough said, he has to break his link with this (sex)friend or... you know what you have to do ?
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (5 February 2014):
Always forgive…NEVER hold on to hate.
Here is the problem…He is your boyfriend, not your husband, and even most husbands don’t get this kind of chance. He caused you pain and he is still hanging around the reason for that pain, and feels no way about it. You see all this and stick around to be upset every time they are together. If you are hot you go somewhere cool. If you are cold you find heat, or dress warm. In other words, if something is affecting you, something is done… normally the opposite of that effect. Someone is causing you unhappiness; you would find someone who gives you happiness. Yes? He is not the only guy out there.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (5 February 2014):
 Even if it wasn't technically cheating and you two were not exclusive, not sexual, and just starting to date at the 1-month mark, he shouldn't be hanging out with her now that the two of you ARE exclusive. You've been together for a year, and if he's confessing stuff like this, he's getting serious with you.
Whether you forgive him or not is up to you, but unless he's willing to cut all contact with this other woman, your relationship won't go anywhere. If he cares enough to disclose, he needs to drop contact with her, because it's not a matter of allowing him to have opposite-sex friends. If they were sexual, then she is disqualified from that excuse. They are not platonic.
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