A
female
age
41-50,
*.A.A.
writes:i was with my boyfriend for 4 months and never had reason not to trust him. he always wanted to see me, never dissapeared with his mates and always made me feel special. then over christmas he had no work so had to get a job he hated, he was always home late and we never saw each oher and started arguing all the time. after one massive argument he stormed out, phoned one of his ex's and slept with her. I didn't find out until a few weeks later, i had a gut instinct he'd done something but he didnt tell me i found out! he denied it and denied it then finally admitted it but said he did it beacuse things were going downhill with us and we never saw each oher and were arguing. He is promising it is the biggest mistake he's made and he will do anything to prove to me how much he loves me. I am just so hurt. I got back with him but i am so worried I will get hurt again. Do you let them go??
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (9 February 2009):
 I think it's all up to you. Is what you have worth working on? Is he willing to do what it takes to rebuild your trust in him? Are you willing to forgive? Those are the major questions you need to answer yourself.
Treat me like crap once, shame on you. Treat me like crap twice, shame on ME...
If you do decide to forgive him, you need to put it on the past too. You can not drag it up when you are mad at him or feeling insecure. That is not true forgiveness. To forgive someone is hard work, but re-building trust even harder.
Good luck and have a good think on it.
Personally I do not respect cheaters. I don't care what excuse they use to do it. Cheating is cheating. My husband had an "emotional affair" - no physical contact, and it took me 2 years to forgive. However, I will divorce him in a heartbeat if he EVER do anything like that again.
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