A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Annoying boy issues.A boy and I have been friends for years. He had a huge crush on me for about 5 months, and finally asked me out. I wasn't really sure at first but said yes. Well, we dated for awhile before I broke up with him. It was over silly reasons, and I was just overreacting. I instantly regretted it. I told him that I made a mistake and wanted to get back together. But to my surprise he didn't want to.So, I'm stuck in a weird position. I pretty much love this boy now, and he just wants to be friends. Every time we talked after the break up I was reminded of this fact, and always ended up sad and depressed. So I decided not to talk to him at all, and told him this. He was sad about it, but he was only sad about losing a friend.Now I'm stuck. What do I do? I'm still not over him and would do anything to get him back, yet he isn't interested. He hasn't told me a real reason why, and instead kept changing his reasons. So I'm pretty sure he just doesn't know, or doesn't want to tell me. He's also leaving on vacation tomorrow for 2 weeks, so I won't get to see him.Should I try and be friends with him? I don't want to lose him... but I also want to protect myself from being hurt again. Is there any way to get him back or am I screwed?I'm so confused ;Note: he still claims to like me. Hence the confusion.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2008): Well, anonymous, I don't know what it was that caused the break, so I can't talk about that. You said it was over something silly. Well, it may have been to you, but it may have been important to him. He may have been hurt more than he let on to be. If you really want to be more than just friends again, I think you need to get brave and ask him what it was that caused him not to want to be "more than friends" with you. But, like I said, you have to have the courage to do it. Tell him you are sorry if he took something wrong and apologize. If he does not tell you and still does not want to be more than friends, you have to accept it and move on. It may be simply that he does not really feel the same toward you regardless of what happened. But, you can't beat yourself over it. Move on and get back into the "mainstream". Like I tell guys who are heartbroken, "Girls are endless, and there is one out there for you". Well, guys are pretty infinite, too, and there is certainly one out there for you. Best wishes, sweetheart. Tom
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