A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi.I am feeling very confused right now.there is this guy I love.. I have loved him for a year now,but i found out that he has a girlfriend. He thinks of my father as an idol or something and shares everything with him and respects him immensely. He told my father, who told my mom, who told me.. that he is taking pity on this girl cuz she gets suicidal whenever he tries to talk about leaving her, and she wants to get married. She has finally been able to convince her family and he also says he can't get out now.I can't tell him how I feel.. I feel I will also lose out on a best friend, cuz we are very close but I feel, I will have to distance myself from him if he gets married.This has been going on for quite a long time now..he says he will marry her, but isn't doing it..The catch is that I think he is in love with me.. but doesn't know how to approach me ... he is 11 years elder to me..I hope Ii don't sound crazy here but I really think he is the one and I have such a strong gut feeling that we will be together.plzz help me out guys
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2008): If he lets himself be pushed to the brink of marriage by blackmail then he has yet so much to learn about relationships. Don't feel sorry for him, he is old enough to know better. I'm sure he is well advised by others who are more experienced and even if it isn't so, who are you to talk him out of his foolish decisions? Your strong gut feeling can be wrong. And we can't make decisions in somebody's stead. Your father who you say is his friend may have already tried to teach him better than that (ask him) to no avail. Talk with your parents if you can do anything to help this man, I don't think you should get involved yourself as you lack the experience and they will know how to be more tactful in approaching the subject, if they consider they should do so. Best wishes.
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