A
female
age
41-50,
*lwayswondering82
writes:I need opinions. I’ve been “seeing” this guy for 8 months now. We are not officially dating, but in many ways its like we are. In the beginning, we started out all passionate and intense. He pursued me like crazy and then it was like once he realized he had me, he backed off. He had just gotten out of a long serious relationship, so i thought maybe that was the problem and let it ride. For the past six months after that, he’s been seeing me less and less, and the affection has pretty much dwindled down to not much. Yet, he still wants to make it a point to talk or text every day and gets upset if i dont answer. He gets jealous if i go out with someone else. He tells me he wants to be with me one day, but that right now he isn’t ready. That i should just quit pushing him for a relationship and let it happen naturally. That he’d like to be involved, but he feels it was all moving too fast. He tells me that he loves me, but isn't love with me and that having a relationship right now would mess up his "routine." That he doesn't have time. Says he can’t ask me to wait..but he wishes I would just go with the flow and let things happen on their own between us. That i Shouldn't worry about it..he's not, because if its meant to be it'll be. This sounds like a load of bull to me, but i dont know what to do. My issue is that I dont want to walk away, when all he needed was time. But am i being played for a fool? I do care about this guy very much. I just dont want to make the wrong decision bc i was being impatient. Patience is definately not my virtue, but to me , it seems that this is all wrong.
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female
reader, alwayswondering82 +, writes (31 August 2010):
alwayswondering82 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou guys are right. I've always known that's truly what was going on, but i guess i just didn't want to admit it. He's good at coming up with the right thing to say when i try to leave, but his actions never match his words. Its time for me to move on.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (30 August 2010):
 It doesn't take 8 months and counting to decide whether you want a relationship with someone or not. You're just seeing him, you have no obligation to him, you can seem or date whomever you please. If the affection has dwindled, so has the time spent together, he's not in love with you, and being in a relationship would mess up his routine then I suspect he's seeing someone else as well. You're being played for a fool, he has no intention of being in a relationship he just got out of a long serious one. If he wanted a relationship he would have decided that 7 months ago..instead of drawing it out as long as you'll let him. He's already had enough time frankly he doesn't deserve anymore of your time....walk away it will be easy since your not bound to him. Time is precious stop wasting it on this loser.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (30 August 2010):
Yes, you're being played. He's keeping you around like a spare or something. He doesn't need 'time' to come around. If he wanted to, he could commit now. He's choosing not to, then keeps you around. A routine can change, time can be made and claims that after 8 months he wishes you'd just 'see how it develops'. At 8 months, most people are pretty sure where a relationship is going. You are totally, totally wasting your life waiting around for this guy.
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