A
female
age
36-40,
*enL
writes:I've know this guy for 2.5 years by now, but nothing had happened between us until 1 week ago. he is married with a 1 year old daughter, and according to him, their marriage life is no longer what it used to be and they have separated bedrooms. He told me once( before our relationship had become complicated) that he thought by having the baby, it might help their saving their marriage, but apparently he was wrong so now they are just like friends living in the same house (oh,teaching in the same college and same department too).I know both he and my sister have feeling(or at least are attracted)to each other, yet sometimes his attitudes and behavior toward me are a bit confusing. I had feelings for him on and off, but he told me that he had suspected it since my 2nd semester, which was 2 years ago (i don't know and am not sure). However, what i know is that, our "relationship" started sorta sexually and that isn't exactly what i want but what can i tell him? that i wanted to be his girlfriend? seems impossible....he admitted that since last semester, there were this sexual attraction, personality attraction,and (can't remember the other one) toward me, but he doesn't want to lie to me-- he didn't exactly have any romantic feeling toward me....That does sort of hurt to hear, but if being sexually-involved with him is the only way to maintain our relationship, will it worth a try? Shall i have any hope that one day he will fall in love with me? or am i being too naive? I've always been jealous of my sister, but i really shouldn't cos they knew each other first. When i told him that I knew he and my sister always have feeling toward each other, he didn't deny it :(he asked me if I really want this and he wanted to know my expectation, because he fear that he will hurt me and that's the last thing he want. He said that he wanted, even after 10 years when he recalled of us, it will be some fond memories. but I honestly don't know how to answer....
View related questions:
jealous, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (23 April 2011):
 You answer NO
He has been honest, he only wants sex, he is married, he has a child, he likes your sister, who I assume is not the girl he is married to
Why tie yourself up with a person like that, why bring more heartache down upon yourself, stand up straight and look him in the eye and say NO.
There are enough men to go around, you dont have to go sleeping with some other girl's husband. Where is the morality and ethics in all this?
|
