A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:A co-worker and I started seeing each other in late January and he broke up with me in early March. We didn't sleep together, it was just too much too soon, according to him. The problem isn't the breakup; the problem is dealing with it over two months later. It still hurts a lot to see him every day, especially since we work about three feet from each other. He has clearly moved on, and I would love some advice on doing the same. I have considered quitting my job to help the healing process along. It's risky, and I love the company I work for so I don't want to leave, but I can't transfer to another department yet because I haven't been there that long. Please help because I'm tired of spending my lunch breaks in my car crying.
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female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (17 May 2008):
 The ideal situation would be not to see the guy for a period of time so that you can heal and get over him without the constant reminder. Since this can not be you will have to work with your mind. Somehow you have to convince yourself that this breakup is a good thing. Make a list of the things you didn't like about him and why he isn't the perfect guy for you. Number one on the list is that he doesn't feel about you the way you want your guy to feel.
You have to get past letting him control your feelings. He's moved on and now it's time for you to move on. Get out there with friends and have some fun. Do nice things for yourself. Make yourself a terrific feel good lunch with all your favorite foods so that you are reversing those negative feelings. Good chocolate always worked for me. Make your lunch a happy time. Plan nice things to do after work so you can look forward to something great aftre work. Get your nails done or get into a good book that you can't wait to get back to. Find some volunteer work to make you feel good about contributing.
In time, he will be a distant memory and a reminder not to date someone you can't get away from if it doesn't work out.
Good luck.
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