A
male
age
30-35,
*ebaslookingforward
writes:I am going to ask again a question I posted yesterday but I am going to summarize things because I have realized people simply tend not to answer long questions. For those who want to take a look at the original question: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/online-dating-has-messed-up-my-life-how.htmlAnyway, I am 18, and during the past 5 years I have had online girlfriends, flings, friends, etc. I do have real life friends, and even though I have not kissed yet I get along pretty well with girls, I just dont like much the idea of hooking up with them.The issue is that I got affective to some of these people, many of whom I dont talk to any more. I keep one ex gf in facebook, but we do not talk (and I think I should keep her). Another online gf (i sent this one a letter when i visited the usa!), well I found out she cheated on me, so I sent her a very mean email and now sometime later asked why she did that and she said: "well....you dont even deserve to know what happened after those emails, you just jump to conclusions when you have no idea what is really happening"To that answer, I simply explained why I thought she had cheated, and now I have been waiting for her reply.To sum up, I feel like I have wasted lots of time online in the past few years looking for girls and to turn on. It all started when I found a site (pogo.com) to play games but I soon began to develop my crave for talking dirty to girls and asking for naked pics, as well as having a couple "girlfriends". My real life friends know nothing about this, neither does my family, I have not told anyone.I have some pics, old emails, chat logs, and all sorts of stuff from all these past few years... my situation is: i want to stop all this but i feel bored if i dont get on the site i am currently using the most (teenspot.com). I want to stop once and for all this "online life" and move on. It is like an addiction. help me.
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cheated on me, ex girlfriend, facebook, move on, nude pictures Reply to this Question
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male
reader, sebaslookingforward +, writes (20 March 2011):
sebaslookingforward is verified as being by the original poster of the questionCrap, I voted your answer to be removed accidentally. Cant do it back, so I hope nothing happens
A
male
reader, sebaslookingforward +, writes (20 March 2011):
sebaslookingforward is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOK thanks for the help. Luckily I do have a good social life, and it's not that hard for me to talk to the girls, and I am quite positive in life, I feel much better now! Thanks man! I've seen your answers to many questions, they are very good!
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (20 March 2011):
 I don't think anyone needs to know, at least until you're comfortable telling them.
Nothing wrong with pen pals until you are in a relationship, you're right.
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A
male
reader, sebaslookingforward +, writes (19 March 2011):
sebaslookingforward is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes, I go out often to relieve stress even if it's just to ride my bike with a friend that lives nearby and exercise. Moreover I am starting university in just a few days, and even though I am taking up electronics engineering (not many girls :P) I'm keen on meeting these people, plus they can introduce me to other girls.Earlier today I deleted my account on the chat site I was using recently (teenspot) and in MSN I deleted the email of the "online girlfriend" that apparently cheated on me (I will never know what happened exactly I guess).I will gradually get rid of all this stuff that holds me back. I am starting to feel better.Do you think I should tell anyone about any of this? NO ONE knows that I have been doing this stuff because after so many years you become good at hiding it from everyone. I believe I would tell my future wife someday. Anyway I think this is not important right now, I will reveal it when I feel comfortable with who I am probably.I have 2 or 3 people in particular (they are girls) who I could say I am "pen pals" with and I would not delete from my MSN. I assume keeping contact with them is completely okay, but I know that at some point I will have to stop it (if I'm in something with a girl). Am I right?
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A
male
reader, C. Grant +, writes (19 March 2011):
Yep, delete that stuff. Then don't hang around at home. Go out and so stuff you like to do. That way if you meet someone while doing that you'll have at least one thing in common -- it's a great conversation starter.
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A
male
reader, sebaslookingforward +, writes (19 March 2011):
sebaslookingforward is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI bet I should delete all the chat logs, pictures, old emails, online accounts related to all this and stuff like that? What do you suggest I do besides this?
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A
male
reader, C. Grant +, writes (19 March 2011):
"Meeting" people online is easy and it's without risk. If you find that they're no longer meeting your needs, if they're no longer interesting, you stop responding. It's clean, it's easy, no harm no foul. In the meantime, while it *is* working for you, it's a great high. So the whole on-line thing is incredibly seductive. But, as you've learned, in the end it's not very satisfying.
Humans are social animals, and the only truly satisfying thing is to actually be with one in the real world. Before there was an on-line world you actually had to put yourself out there and take the chance of being shot down. It usually takes a number of tries before something actually works -- that you connect with someone in the real world that you want to make a relationship with. Now that you've learned how empty the on-line thing is, you're ready to give the RW thing a shot. When you find a relationship that works, you won't miss the 'online life'. Give it a try - it's worth it.
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