A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A friend of mine started to drink and smoke. She was a decent girl before always been a goody goody girl. Always did well in school. Teacher's always said she was the best pupil she cared about herself before. She was so sweet and Innocent she had good respect for herself. Lately she has changed. She stresses out alot I know theres been a few problems in her family.. could this be the reason why she's changed? She also got a not so nice attidude anymore. Like when we were in class she stuggled alot with her work. She's getting support now, but She was like I don't care I don't want to go back to college. Then the teacher would encourage her then she would be back on her feet again. It said in her report from a doctor that she needs encouragement she has a Language disorder so things will be hard for her. I think she's changed because of this...Problems in her family....stuggling with work.? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (16 November 2010):
 That sounds about right - she might just be struggling with school due to this language disorder, and then family problems will be making her unhappy too. But at least the teachers have picked up on this and are helping her - thats all she needs, lots of support and help from the responsible adults around her.
All you can do as her friend is to stand by her, not to judge her and be as supportive as you can. You cant get her to want to come to school, or stop drinking, but you can still be nice to her and be a shoulder for her to cry on if she needs you. We all go through tough times at some point in time, and we might make decisions that are not in our best interests. But it is always made so much better if we have friends around us who care, and who dont try and tell us what to do, but they just stand by us and will give us a hug when we realise what we are doing is wrong.
So be nice to her, be supportive and be there for her. If she doesnt want to know you then dont be nasty, just say "well I am your friend and will always be here for you if you need me" - that is all you can do. And dont get sucked in with her bad habits either - if she wants you to hang out with her, drinking and smoking, then just politely turn her down. If she is going through a rough patch she might try and drag people down with her, so just be careful not to get too closely involved with any of her negative behaviours. Hopefully the teachers and doctors can help her and get her back on track.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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