A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:HELP!!!6 weeks ago me and my girlfriend of 5 1/2yrs (i'm 25 and she's 22) made a decision to split up - we both agreed 'something was missing' from our relationship...we weren't unhappy - but the fact this 'thing' was missing was causing problems......i didn't see her for 3 weeks (but we still texted and stuff), and we then met up and went for a drink - we had a lovely night...and ended up making love in the car on the way home!Another week passed by, and we went to the cinema together...again a lovely night - and we ended up in her bed making love again.We talked quite a lot, and although we were quite clear on the 'we are NOT together' thing - we did admit that we both fancy each other, and love each other. She even told me she'd told her mum this too...I've done my thinking, and want to give it another shot...however - out of the blue she told me last week that she wants no contact with me for at least another 3 weeks...so we haven't text or anything. Apart from when i wished her luck with 2 exams, to which she thanked me for my thoughts and said she appreciated it...we had a little text conversation and when i asked how she was - she told me she "wasn't great" and "messed up".What do I do?I realise i need to give her the time she has requested - but in the space of a week, she has gone from telling me she still loves me and making love to me...to saying we can't move on unless we have no contact at all for a set time.I love this girl, i always have and always will - and it seemed that 2 weeks ago she was the same...but now has cut all contact!I think i know what was missing from our relationship...we got through her going to uni because i visited EVERY weekend and we had US time - to do whatever we wanted, when we wanted! Since she came home last summer we've lost the US time...i live at home, and so does she...and I think we can fix it - i just need to talk to her BEFORE we throw away all we've had.Can you help me?
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female
reader, Aunt Audrey +, writes (11 June 2006):
 I think the problem you have here is that your g/f obviously needs time and space to decide if your relationship will go the distance and to discover within herself what her true feelings for you are. By continuing to date and sleep together she is unable to see things clearly enough to decide what she wants. She has asked you for time and you should give this to her and let her decide for herself whether she can live without you or not. I think she has cut all contact with you to see for herself how she will deal with not having you in her life. I'm sure if she loves you she will also see where your relationship has gone wrong and will maybe given the time she needs decide that all is not lost and give it another go. You may need to think of a way where you can have some time together as you did before and once again find the something that went missing in you relationship that has caused this separation.
I hope it works out for you.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, sibaan +, writes (10 June 2006):
 you guys need to access your relationship and decuide what to do maybe she is realising now that you guys are really serious and you could even get married in a year or two and now she is scared because she doesnt know if she is ready to settle down and stay stable right now.give her space, space is good but remember that its a two way thing, no matter what!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2006): she needs this time to really know how the break is going, if ye'r still going on dates and sleeping together ye havnt really taken time to think things thru, when your living situations change for both of you of course this will affect the relationship. give her this time, be ready to talk and calmly make your point about US TIME and let her have a think about it before asking for a definate answer.i know its hard as you love aand miss her but this can only make ye stronger and closer if ye talk about and sort out your problems.
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