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Girls seem to be able to cope with every emotion except anger ...

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Question - (1 August 2013) 4 Answers - (Newest, 2 August 2013)
A male Netherlands age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My every relationship got off to a good start and girls seems to fall for me quickly. They like my laugh and jokes. As soon, they see my other emotion: Being angry, they just start looking for reason to end things and that has already resulted in a two failed relationship. Why girls can't expect people with every emotion? I mean when can't be happy all the time and you will have moment for every emotion to burst out. There is something wrong with me or I haven't found someone who truly accepted me the way I'm.

Any help coming through this site, will be appreciate!

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (2 August 2013):

CindyCares agony auntBecause anger is an emotion that can only be expressed to a limit and within proper channels for people , and girls, to still feel safe and comfortable around you.

So if by angry you mean yelling, screaming, becoming verbally, or ,worse, physically abusive, they should NOT accept your unsociable way to expess this emotion. They are not supposed to,- it would be you who should lern to manage your anger, not they who should learn to accept it.

If we are talking about something less,.... let's say you are a fiery , overreactive temper with a low level of tolerance for frustration.. the type that frets, curses and swears in finding out he forgot home his cigarettes ...well, that's a matter of personal tastes , I guess. SOME people may not be bothered and accept your outbursts, many others would find them too rude, annoying and unpleasant.

Conclusion, it's not that girls CAN'T accept your anger- it's that they don't have to if so they choose, and they would be silly to accept it, in case you have a problem with anger management / impulse control.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2013):

I'm the person who posted this question. When I get angry, I might shout but I don't use abusive language whereas I got abusive language from Ex many times.

I think they like my initial personality in relationship so much that they think I would remain a static person who would have no other emotion. I tolerant their hard talk more than they do my rational response in higher tone.

Hope this explanation has cleared my question . One of my Ex would call me cheesy whenever we would make love online. When I would call her frequently , she would have problem, when I would ask her to reduce the talk over the phone, here too she would be pissed. When I would kiss her on phone and in real, she would have problem.

When I wouldn't , she would say oh so our relationship had become so old that you you had forgotten all the sweet things that you had going for me? I'm not saying I'm an angel and didn't make mistakes.

I did but if I could stand with their every emotion, why they couldn't mine? Hope this explanation would have cleared my message for you for more response.

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A female reader, answerfromtheheart United States +, writes (2 August 2013):

answerfromtheheart agony auntHow long were these relationships before you got angry? And what did you get angry at? Did it solve anything for you?

I feel that you are frustrated that girls can't accept you for who you are, but you have to understand that anger is a scary thing for women, because when a man is angry with them, it can result in being hurt and if we feel like we can be hurt, we walk away (usually)

You have to help us understand what is happening. Give us some more information on the situations that you were in.

Thanks,

we'll try our best to help explain and figure out

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2013):

Two failed relationships do not predict the behavior of "every girl."

That said, if you're seeing a pattern and/or both specifically cited your anger as a reason to end things... the common denominator is you.

When you say "angry," what do you mean? Silent treatment? Raised voice? Or something more sinister like verbal abuse/name calling or physical outbursts?

My father has such a bad temper that he swears and throws/breaks things when he's angry, and I guarantee that had my mother been aware of this when they were dating (he hid it quite well), she never would have married him. Anger that extreme is definitely not a trait that women will find attractive.

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