A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How odd is it to almost be 23 years old and still not had any real relationships? I am a 23 year old male and relatively good looking, or so I am told by some female friends. The problem is I just don't know how to move from the friendship stage to the boyfriend stage. I am not a virgin, I had sex once 5 years ago with a girl I knew but haven't had sex since. It has been so long that it seems like it never happened. It seems weird to have been sexually active basically once and stop for such a long time. I really want to have a girlfriend since I seem lonely and want to eventually have sex. At least date some girls. Is my situation strange. Whats some good advice to change it? Or should I just not worry about it although it does bother me now? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys.
So I shouldn't ask out friends. What about long term acquaintances. I mean, someone you don't hang out with a lot, but see once and a while (like a friend's friend)? Someone on the verge of friendship. Maybe you seen them around for 5 months or so, they are a classmate or something.
Also I am realizing I just need to get more experience. I need to test the waters myself. Have confidence and don't let the rejections hurt me. Somehow I just need to learn to build this confidence.
Again thank you for your input.
A
male
reader, C.Xavier  +, writes (2 June 2008):
Hello,
Nice to meet you. I can resume your problem with the word “attitude”, I am not a native English speaker, but from the best of my knowledge the word “attitude” denotes negativity, something bad. Well sir I can tell you is not, I am half Italian, half Spaniard and attitude is what we have, I am not saying be a “jerk”, be a man open a door to the girl, but don´t brag about it, see to the eyes when you talk to her, literally eat her when you talk to her and look into the eye. A lot of people say Italians are sexy, well I do not believe is sexiness, it´s attitude, walk like if you had a million dollars in the wallet, walk like if you were the “object of desire”, don´t be nice all the times, not rude but not necessary a sweetheart. It could be also the places you hang out, maybe you can try different clubs, maybe you are good dancing, maybe you suck, the point bambino is that you should comfortable with yourself, not copy cat a style, make your own style. Remember a man not a jerk. One more thing gentlemen do have terrible memory when it comes to ladies( a motto from where I come from).
Ciao
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A
male
reader, WastedLife +, writes (1 June 2008):
Part of the answer is right from the beginning - when you meet a girl, be flirty and use LIGHT sexual innuendo. Be touchy-feely, but not creepy. Make sure you touch her in some way(other than a handshake) within the first few minutes of meeting. If she extends her hand for a handshake, grab it in your left hand and hug her gently, like it's the right thing to do. NEVER let her see you as a friend until AFTER she has seen you as a potential lover.
I will state clearly for the record that in most cases, it's NOT OK to just wait. Things won't get better, and you will get more nervous as you feel older. Young women will start thinking of you as "too old". It seems that standards on age are tightening more and more with the ease of net searches on age alone. Women claim they want "confident" men, yet that takes LOTS of practice, LOTS of rejection, and LOTS of time. You need to be in the game early unless you are lucky enough to find your soulmate easily - something that most of us never do. A few guys are "naturals" - they just do the right thing instinctively. They are rare, usually the product of a very permissive, forgiving, and sexualized childhood. I wish I was one! You apparently are not either, so there's lots to learn. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, toni246  +, writes (1 June 2008):
i would say just go out with your mates to town and find somebody there. Dont go for a relationship with your friends because it will get complicated and if you do have a relationsip with a friend and does end, it may end awkard and you could have lost a good friend there
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A
male
reader, bobbay123 +, writes (1 June 2008):
Damn, the friend zone.
I seem too young (15) to know anything but I've been in the friend zone and I'm sure every guy has.
I cant say I figured out how to become boyfriend material rather than best friend material to a girl.
Every day I see a girl and she hugs me, and we have a chat and thats it, but we're mutual friends.
Flirting would help but tbh with this friend status I feel I'm not allowed to flirt? Maybe I suck at it!
I'm still a virgin, but at 15 I think thats morally okay, but I havent had a real relationship in my life and havent had a girlfriend for 2 years.
I'm too young to give any tips for a 'night out on the pull', but try and flirt with some girls or get out there and meet a girl.
If you have close female friends (You said you have some who say your handsome), then ask them for help. You dont realise how helpful they'll be as a friend. They know what girls want, and thats what they'll tell you. Ask them if they'd date you, if so why/not...
They'll happily tell you you're handsome so why not pop that question to them and see what they come out with!
If you like them then hopefully you could get some positive feedback and hopefully that'd lead to something!
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