A
female
age
30-35,
*bj15
writes:I have been seeing a guy I met offline for about 2 months. We talked online for over a month before he asked me out for coffee. Since then we have seen each other once or twice a week since then. When I am with him, I feel totally relaxed and happy and don't doubt that he likes me as he is affectionate and remembers little things that I have said in the past.However, when we are apart, I am left feeling confused and unsure of where I stand with him. He has said to me in the past that he is rubbish at replying. He will sometimes take a day or so to reply to texts but in the mean time will send snapchats. He is also very last minute at planning things, which sometimes makes me feel like a last resort to him. I spent New Years visiting him in his family home and meeting various family members.How am I able to tell if he sees me as a girlfriend or just a friend and is it too soon to ask?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours  +, writes (15 January 2015):
 I understand that you like him and are excited about him, but if you are under the impression that asking would be too much pressure on the relationship at this point, then don't put that pressure on your mind either.
If you are not comfortable asking for his perspective, then focus on your own for now. Do you see him as a boyfriend, or a friend? If BF, then just stay loyal and patient until he is ready to declare his exclusive loyalty to you. Don't do anything you will regret (regarding other men).
The only way to really know is either to ask him,
or manipulate him into displaying his feelings (through subtle hinting and implications and acting for the purpose of a reaction from him). Since we don't want to get messy that way, because it sounds like you have a very peaceful, pleasantly slow moving relationship going, I think you should just be patient and enjoy your moments.
~Sy
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2015): just be upfront and ask. You will soon get the answer!
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