A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone. Hoping for some advice here, I just don't know what to do anymore :/Im 21, and my girlfriend, 20, of 5 years left me literally out of nowhere the other day. Everything was fine and dandy except she was acting a little pissy.We got into a little argument and where me and her usually would make up, she just didn't seem to care at all. I went for a walk and when I came back she was asleep. I told her that if she didn't care anymore she should leave. And that's what she did. While packing all her things I tried to get her to stay. It crushed me so bad to see her leave again (she's done this before). As she was breaking up with me she was saying things like "your personality sucks" and "no girl would ever want to put up with you", mean things like that. I literally was crying as she got in her car and all she said was "leave me alone". She closed her door and drove off. She hasn't answered my texts and she already gave another guy her number (it's only been a week). She seems so happy without me but I literally did everything for her so I don't see how she could just not care anymore. To make matters worse, her and my sister are best friends and I always hear her car in the driveway picking her up. Last night, they were down there for like an hour, and not being to take it anymore, I went down there to tell her she should leave. When I got to the car I saw she was texting another guy and she wouldn't even look at me. She just rolled up her window and drove off. I just don't understand how she could do this to me. How can you just not care about someone you spent 5 years with? She was my rock. When every I had anxiety about something, she knew exactly what to do to calm me down. She wanted to get married, and always said she was in it for "the long haul". I don't see how just out of nowhere she ups and leaves. It's literally killing me on the inside. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't do anything and I'm always in an awful mood. All I can think about all day is her and how she doesn't care and how she is already talking to other guys having the time of her life while I'm here so upset I can't even move. We've broken up in the past, but she's always answered my calls/texts and came back back soon after. Now she doesn't answer them and she doesn't even care when she sees me crying in my driveway right in front of her while she's texting other guys! I've lost my job over this and I can't even get any of my class work done. Im slowly just deteriorating :(Is there any advice anyone can give me to help. I don't know how much longer I can go on like this...
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 April 2013):
 You are 21 that means you have been with the same girl since you were 16 and she was 15. That is a long long time and we talk about things we hope and dream for. But like MOST relationships that happen as children, this one has run its course.
Breaking up when you fight and getting back together is not normal nor is it a good thing. Fighting is one thing, disagreements are another, but the constant breaking up and making up is an indication of a not healthy relationship.
IF she’s already given another guy her number (and how do you know this?) then clearly she had started looking about and was looking for a reason to end it. She has outgrown her first relationship and it’s time for her to move on.
You going downstairs while your ex is visiting her friend (your sister) and telling her to leave was wrong. IT’s NOT YOUR PLACE to tell her to leave when she’s visiting her friend. I know this is painful for you and you think it’s being done to hurt you but it’s not.
As for her sitting in her car “texting another guy” how do you KNOW it was another guy… it could have been anyone…
You assume she does not care. That is probably not true. She cares, she just does NOT want to be your girlfriend any more and to get her point across she has to appear to be cruel and not caring because she’s smart enough to realize if she gives you even a glimmer of hope that she’ll come back you will jump on it and it will be horrid for both of you as you beg and plead for answers and she’s got none. She’s done with you and while she could have been nicer about it, I doubt that would make it easier for you, in fact, it would be harder for you to get that it’s over if she was being nice. I think she’s doing you a favor by being so cold and aloof.
If I’s only been a few days you need to allow yourself to heal. The first six weeks are the hardest. IT may be easier of you ask your sister to not see her friend at your home for the next few weeks.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2013): Come on my friend for five years everything was good. You thought everything was good. How could you of been so blind. Its over understand that. What could of you done to her to make her hate you that much? Lets have the whole story so you can get the proper help. Go see a shrink and get yourself together. There is more fish out in the sea but you have to do something about yourself and then move ahead. Don't beat yourself up.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2013): I get how it is, break ups kill. But sometimes things dont work out. If she's left you multiple times before, and then you've begged her back, that's not a good thing. If the problem keeps recycling and showing up later in a relationship then things will turn south quick, after a while people will get tired of it, and move on. I'm gonna have to give you a little bit of tough advice here, but you need to SUCK IT UP, you can't let these things get you, especially if she SEES you crying in your driveway, that's definitely not going to do anything good for your relationship, if you change, maybe she'll realize what she's left behind has changed for the better. And about her "not caring", well sometimes girls are heartless in break ups, maybe trying to show you how much they matter in your life, flaunting about how "fine they are without you", just so they can turn around and rub it in your face. It happens man, but you shouldn't let it bog you down like this.
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