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age
30-35,
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writes: my gf says she likes to put me through pain and likes to give me hard times. my gf likes to punch me hard aswell as nipple twist and pinching. she also likes to strike at my emotions and i'm a very sensitive and she knows it but all she tells me to do is grow up and be a man. is this normal? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lacrymosa_652  +, writes (10 November 2010):
 Tell her how much it's really bothering you, and that if you persisted on doing something to her that she doesn't like, how would she feel? She's not empathising with you at the moment, she's just seeing things from her point of view.
Explain how she upsets you emotionally, and that you can't help being sensitive. Ask her to think before she lashes out.
When you have this talk with her, explain to her that you want to sort things between you two because you love her a lot, and you don't want to lose her because of this, but if she cannot change her ways then you're going to have to end things. This might make her give her a wake-up call - that she's going to lose you if she cannot change her behaviour.
If she still doesn't change her ways, then please, despite how much you love her, end your relationship with her. If you say you will and then you don't, she'll see you as a pushover. Plus, you deserve to be with somebody who respects you. No matter how much you love somebody, you need to love yourself too. Stick up for yourself, be strong, and do what's best for YOU in the long-run. You have to sometimes go with your head and not your heart, for the sake of your emotional well-being.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks but here's the thing i'm completely in love with her and i don't want to break up with her. at first i just didn't mind it at all but now she's always doing it i don't mind the nipple twist( it turns me on) but i want her to stop without getting her angry
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female
reader, lacrymosa_652 +, writes (7 November 2010):
Break up with her. I was going to suggest you talk to her about it and ask her to stop but she already tells you to "grow up and take it like a man." Can I just say, the fact that you don't like her doing this does NOT make you any less of a man. Just because she's a girl, what gives her the right to try and push a guy around?
Enjoying the "dominant role" is fine, but not at the expense of your partner's happiness. If she wants to act like this, she needs to find somebody who enjoys being submissive - in a physical sense anyway. Hurting somebody emotionally is never okay. Dump this sadistic bully, before she shatters your self-esteem with her emotional abuse. You deserve better, remember that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2010): No, it's not normal and it's very wrong. If you were a woman and a guy was doing this people would called it abuse and that's what it is. Dump her she sounds like a cruel bitch.
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female
reader, Blod +, writes (7 November 2010):
 No, it doesn't sound normal. It sounds more like bullying than anything. I know that some couples might do something like this as part of foreplay but, like you said, this is abuse. So get out of that relationship. A girlfriend should love you and care for you. She's being horrible to you! Leave her.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 November 2010):
 I don't know if it's normal, but surely it is very rude and annoying, can't you just tell her you don't like it and she has to cut it out with these stupid games ?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2010): what a nasty bitter bitchy little girl. She is abusive. She has to go. Her physical and other domestic abuse has to STOP! Her behaviour is not normal and is not loving. Get out of this horrible set up. People think domestic abusers are mostly men, and that is true, but people often do not realise that a small proportion of abusers are females who abuse their male partner. The abuse can be verbal, physical, sexual, social (isolate you from mixing with others) and it can be financial abuse and psychological abuse (where she undermines the psyche of the victim). Result: abused people lose confidence in themselves.
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