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male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: My girlfriend was recently asked out on Facebook by another guy. We have been dating for over a year. Her response was that she could not do "any one on one time with another guy because she would not approve of me doing that with another girl." Is it appropriate for my girlfriend to continue chatting with him on Facebook?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2012): To be honest myself an my partner have just split up for the same reason. I got asked out on facebook by one of my male friends on there. I was shocked as it clearly stated i was in a relationship but also i hadnt really spoken to him. I told my boyfriend about it and he finished me he said 'i must have encouraged him in some way' which is just so untrue. this wasnt the first time i had been asked out it was 6 times in the space of a month. Men/women just seem to try their luck on there as its easier than going up to people. which is the reason i have no took my account off as its turning into a 'pick up joint' I did do it for myself and for my ex (even though he hasnt come back' i dont wan the next man having any reason to distrust me.In my opinion facebook just causes trouble.P.s if she told you about it surely that is a good sign rather than keeping secret. I really wanted my ex to tell them to back off but he did instad :( x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2012): To be honest my partner and I have just split up for the same reason. I got asked out on facebook by one of my male friends on there. I was shocked as it clearly stated i was in a relationship but also i hadnt really spoken to him. I told my boyfriend about it and he finished me he said 'i must have encouraged him in some way' which is just so untrue. this wasnt the first time i had been asked out it was 6 times in the space of a month. Men/women just seem to try their luck on there as its easier than going up to people. Which is the reason i have no took my account off as its turning into a 'pick up joint' I did do it for myself and for my ex (even though he hasnt come back' i dont wan the next man having any reason to distrust me.In my opinion facebook just causes trouble.P.s if she told you about it surely that is a good sign rather than keeping secret. I really wanted my ex to tell them to back off but he did instad :( x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2012): To be honest I don't think that that was very appropriate. You need to talk properly to her and figure out what exactly is going on, and take it from there.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2012): In the circumstances I would say it is not appropriate for your girlfriend to continue to talk to this man on Facebook.
Firstly, she is continuing to make you feel insecure.
Secondly, she is continuing to give him hope she might change her mind.
Your girlfriend is playing games and that's not fair on anyone involved.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (31 March 2012):
 Ask her if she would approve of you talking with another girl who was not only asking you out but hitting on you.
I think if the conversation is platonic I don't see the problem, however I don't think it is if he is asking her out.
Talk to her, set some ground rules in your relationship that you can both agree too and adhere too.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2012): "Is it appropriate for my girlfriend to continue chatting with him on Facebook?"
That depends on a lot of things OP. How important a role does he play her life, work colleagues for example would be hard to ignore. It may simply not make sense for her to completely remove him from her life, it may not be necessary either if your relationship is strong and she has made it clear to him it's not going to happen.
You need to talk to her though OP, there are a few causes for concern here. Is her relationship status "in a relationship"? If so, then you have to find out the reason he thought it would be okay to ask her out. Perhaps they've been flirting, or getting close, I mean what gave him the idea he would stand a chance?
Basically OP you need to know from her why she thinks he asked her out. In my experience that only really happens when a girl gives out signals that she's open to that kind of thing. If her relationship status is still single for example then why has she not publicly made herself unavailable?
If she has made that clear then how is she talking to guys that makes them think she'd be open to cheating?
Back to your original question, my girlfriend has been asked out by guys before who hardly knew her, but never on Facebook. She has her status as in a relationship with me, the guy friends she talks to on Facebook know very well that she's taken, she's never given any guy any reason to think he may have a chance with her. In that sense the guys who have asked her out have just been removed from her life easily because they had no value to her.
The kind of relationship I have with my have with my girl is such that she would be perfectly fine with me directly asking a guy who knows her on Facebook why he asked her out. More than once in our relationship I've had to tell guys and even had to act physically to ensure they knew she was mine and to back off.
I think the fact my profile picture on Facebook is me destroying a guy in an MMA bout helps to ward off potential suitors too.
My point is OP I have my limits, I'm not a controlling, domineering asshole but there are certain things I won't accept from other guys when it comes to my girlfriend and the same applies to her, reasonable things. It would not be okay for her lead guys on the point where they felt they could ask her out if in fact the way she had been getting to know them was a step beyond casual conversation and unless that guy had value in her life then I would not be happy for her to continue to talk to him.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (31 March 2012):
 No not really appropriate but there isn't a lot you can do to stop her. You would hope that your relationship is strong enough for her to know that speaking on a certain level with other guys is not really ok.
Is the relationship good?
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