A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I are both 28, and we have been together about 9 months, and our sex is great. A few months ago she told me in her past relationship she and her ex never used condoms, while in my past I have always used condom. I guess I was trying to please her so for the last few sex I tried to pull-out method, however, it just kind of haunts me afterwards because at this stage of my life I do not feel that I'm ready for kids yet; I am still trying to make more money, buy estates, work and make something out of myself.Anyway, last weekend we had unprotected sex using the pull out method again, she joking said she may be pregnant to test my reaction, and indeed I felt a little panicked and concerned.This has caused utter unpleasantness for her and she told me that it offended her greatly to see me worrying and freaking out for a baby. I told her that I love her, I really do, but I'm just not ready for a baby, she said that if she really is pregnant she wouldn't tell me and will just raise the baby on her own - she does not want a reluctant father and boyfriend.So she told me that it's best we just don't have sex at all until "I feel ready", I proposed just using protection, but somehow she seemed to feel hurt that I don't want a baby now.Btw she is totally against abortion; for me I'm neutral, in my past relationship I've always agreed to be a father if they decide against abortion and if they want abortion, I'd agree with it also - this really upset my current girlfriend also as she said babies unborn are still lives.So my question is, is my reaction to her "faked" pregnancy really hurtful? does it mean that I don't love her and don't want to spend the rest of my life with her? I just don't feel ready now and tried to be honest.And as for the no sex thing, even though I think we can still have sex, just PROTECTED sex, I respect her feelings and just go with the no sex thing now, but is this normal? I just want people's opinion, I love her and I am definitely willing to try doing this with her, but maybe it's our cultural differences or something that I think we may be on a different page, I'm not sure, any comments/opinions will be greatly appreciated.
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abortion, be pregnant, condom, her ex, her past, money, unprotected sex, want a baby Reply to this Question
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male
reader, ivanichiaynus  +, writes (19 October 2010):
 If she is happy to go without sex just to spite or control you, that should tell you something about her and your relationship.....
Ivan.
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