A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My gf and I have been dating for almost 3 years,im 27,shes about to turn 26. About a year ago she started a new job at car dealership,as a receptionist.Now because she is on the 'frontline' of the company,she has to dress nice.Now i dont have a problem with that.But for the last 3 or so months shes been telling me how the guys or customers at work are always commenting on how sexy she looks,how nice her perfume smells,how they compliment on her clothes etc, and to be honest its starting to piss me off.Last week she mentioned a colleague told her how he likes tall girls, and she is tall,when i asked who the guy was,she paused for a moment looking away,as if she didnt want to tell me,i found that very odd.She tells me these things in a jokey manner,like a shouldnt take it serious.Last year december we went to her year end function,she then introduced me to one of her managers,he gave me a very suprised look,like a 'i didnt know she had a bf' look,after i shook his hand,he said, "she never speaks about you",i then just laughed it off,he wasnt really laughing.Im beginning to wonder if that was even a joke.Few weeks ago just her department went ten pin bowling after work,a team building thing.She came home late,never phoned to say shes came home safely.I asked her the next day how the evening went,she said it was nice,everyone was there with the families and partners.So why wasnt i invited?I thought it was just their department.Lastly,in the evenings she tells me what shes going to wear for the next day,like this skirt with that top etc.More than half the clothes that she mentions,ive never seen.She never wears them when im around me.Ive had enough,im scared im going to say something nasty that im gonna regret.So i need help on how to approach this.Please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2011): To the post below.I had a similar problem with my boyfriend.In the end i dumped him,i don't think he had cheated on me,but enjoyed upsetting me,and to get a reaction out of me.
What i don't understand is why do this,i have never been out with anyone who has this sort of behaviour before.I don't know quite what he is getting out of this.Can you help?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2011): She is trying to drive you mad with jealousy. How am I almost 100% certain of this? Reread your post objectively. Doesnt it seem as if she is going overboard with it? Doesnt it seem as if every single male interaction she supposedly has turns into them somehow wanting her, desiring her? And just to torture you some more, she is sure to add the details of what she plans to wear the next day (which I am sure she makes out to sound just a little bit sexy but not overly so) to make sure you are obsessing over it even more. While it is likely that she recieves compliments from time to time, it is rather unlikely that every man is just swooning left and right whenever she walks by. My feeling on this is that she has built up a fantasy image of herself to present to you. This could be another reason why she doesnt invite you to these work/family functions. It is easier to carry on this fantasy image if you have nothing to go on except what she provides to you. Should you go to these work/family functions, you might just find that its not nearly as bad as she is making it out to be. Chances are, it really is just all innocent. Is there some way you could investigate these things for yourself? Could you perhaps show up at her work and take her out for lunch? I am in no way saying to sneak about and be creepy, but if it is driving you this crazy, and she is exluding you from events and being dishonest, you owe it to yourself and this relationship to at least get all the facts first so you can at least make an informed decision either way- Whether it really is just her distorted, bloated egoistical self centered image of herself, or if there is indeed something sordid going on.
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A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (2 March 2011):
You should confront her about this. Specially when she told you her co-workers were there with their families. I don't know if she's cheating on you or not. But the only act of leaving you apart from a party where family members were invited is disrespectful.
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A
female
reader, StarryEyes101  +, writes (1 March 2011):
 Wow! She is acting a bit suspicious i must admit. I think you should ask her outright if she is having an affair. And by telling you what they are saying about you, is she trying to rub it in or make you feel jealous? I don't know. Either way it is pretty mean.
I actually have a guy that lives next door to me that didn't invite his wife to one of his work party things, He had told her partners/ wives weren't invited. She later found out that he was lying and actually took another woman!! She forgive him and they are still unhappily married. Ask her. Or try to make her jealous by pretending you have been getting a few compliments lately, see what her reaction is...
Hope this helps.
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