A
male
age
36-40,
*aw1106
writes:there is a girl that recently started at my job that i like. she has come over to my house and we have kissed several times but she texted me several days ago and tells me she has a bad feeling about us getting involved since we are coworkers and wants to simply remain friends. i spoke to her last night and told her that i am mature enough to handle dating a coworker and that i liked her, and if she didnt want to then i would leave it alone. she said she liked me too but didnt wanna get involved with a coworker. tonight i worked with her and she was very flirty with me, very touchy feely, which another coworker even noticed. im just very confused, why is she telling me she doesnt want anything like that but is acting flirty the very next night. she is 19 and im 24. someone please help, im just lost!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2011): You're very welcome, and thanks! :)
A
male
reader, raw1106 +, writes (17 February 2011):
raw1106 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you. That makes sense. I hope everything works out with you and your friend!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2011): This sounds extremely familiar my dear. A friend of mine is doing the exact same thing (flirty, touchy/feely) and when I ask where it is I exactly stand i.e. A potential love interest, I get the friend card...I have figured it out to be because its the most safe card in the deck. Sure, it seems like this girl definitely likes you (and maybe has feelings for you), but she is simply afraid of taking it to that next level since it immediately implies a commitment and a change in the relationship. People who tend to be overly flirty (in my experience) are usually those who are less confidant in formulating relationships, because once they are in one they cannot really run away. This way, but playing the 'friend' card, she can still maintain what she has with you, but without the change in the relationship and the 'extra pressure.' My opinion is that if you want to remain friends with her, definitely create some boundaries. Tell her what is okay and what isn't. What makes you comfortable and uncomfortable. And it seems like her flirty nature is causing you confusion because you have feelings for her. And that of course is the last resort...If you cannot overcome your feelings, then you might want to keep your options open. I am currently in a very similar situation, and it caused me a lot of hurt, because the person I liked treated me in a very similar fashion, and it was just a big mind-tease. People sometimes don't realise the affect their actions can have on another person. You may have to bring it to light so they can see it for themselves. I'm sure you are a nice guy and that you'll find someone who is willing to be in a relationship with you. Good luck my friend :)
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