A
female
age
41-50,
*C_is_home
writes:I have been married to my current husband for almost nine years. We are a very happy couple, always together. We both have a child from a previous marriage. The problem is, that I still to this day cannot fully get over my ex. Is it because we are still in each other's lives? I mean, we live in the same city, we go to the same places, we go to the same church. Our 2 families spend alot of time together. Trips, etc.He is clearly over me, why can I not get to that point? I don't want to lose my husband now, who I feel is my soulmate. My ex was my high school sweetheart.Help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2010): I know how you feel hun, i cant seem to get over my ex at all! no matter what something always reminds me of him and it is hearbreaking..
You are lucky you have met someone else who loves you. I cant bring myself to even speak to another man! If you feel so strong about it and want to act on it try and write a pro and cons list before you act! the reasons you broke up in the first place.. and try and remember he is an ex for a reason! I am telling you this but ill be honest i cant bring myself to do what im tellin you to do because i no the cons list will be longer..
good luck hun and do try to remember you have someone who loves you and you ex is an ex for a reason :)
A
male
reader, Ted-ster +, writes (25 October 2010):
Relax! It's perfectly NORMAL to have those longings for your ex. When you have loved someone, and particularly if you had a child with that person, there is a bond there that will not go away. Why should it? (It's also nice for your kid to know that his mother and biological father still have affection (to a point), respect, and kindness towards one another.) Know what? If you and your current husband broke up, know what would happen? You would have the same longings for him as you did for the ex, i.e., romanticising the relationship in your mind. So relax. The grass is always greener...; and one remembers things more romantically often than they were or would be: simply just remembering and appreciating a different (younger) time, a more simplier time, which is nice, but nothing stays the same. If you and your ex were together still, you might be miserable throwing dishes at each other:) It sounds like you have a mature, healthy relationship with your current husband, and your ex. Bravo! Some people turn those feelings of longings into hatred and end up having dysfunctional relationships with everyone. You should tell both your husband and your ex husband (and the ex's wife!!) how much you appreciate and value that everyone gets along, go on trips together as mixed families; maybe over a glass of wine. (Very) Importantly, make sure your husband knows every day (or nearly everyday) that you think your husband is your soulmate. It mustn't always be easy for him (and ex's wife!) to live like this.
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A
female
reader, francy  +, writes (25 October 2010):
am feeling you sweet darling. am in the same situation as you but let me tell you my secret. i had a boyfriend during my high school time until my first year at the college. i thought he was my everything. at the beginning of my second year i met another guy in the city but i could'nt get over my first true love i kept on contacting him until my boyfriend find out. he started doubting me that ended into us going apart. we understood each other , he was such a good company, my friend and somebody i can rely on but my weakness of continue loving someone who got over me ruined everything. here is my advice. you should try to get over this ex because in the first place he was never meant for you thats why you split. secondly your current husband deserves your whole heart, he helped you make it that far its obvious he was the man you wre meant to be with. so get over your past otherwise you will loose everything like i did.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (25 October 2010):
Are you by any chance blaming yourself for the break up? Sometimes women who have strong values blame themselves, thinking they should have tried harder, done this or that better.
Other times,it's the other woman they see with their ex. What is she doing that you didn't do, or he seems so happy with her...why was he not like that with me.
Point is...You have to let go, and start over fresh in your heart. Don't blame yourself,or hate yourself for anything. Put your full effort in to correcting any mistakes you felt you made in your last relationship, and go full out blowing your new husband's mind.
Make him thank GOD he met you :):)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2010): Hi,Sometimes you never fully get over your ex/1st love esp if you oved them with all yr heart.....from a voice of experience.Why did you 2 split in the 1st place?
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