A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My now ex-girlfriend has been developing feelings for this other guy over the last year, and it really pissed me off, and although we're broken up now, I still want to stay with her... =(. I just want help somehow for these feelings?You see, me and my girlfriend have been together for almost a year now in a long-distance relationship, and we've been very intimate. However, one of the reasons for most of our arguments over the year have been about her friend she's known slightly longer than me who is also long-distance who we'll just call "Valentine".Well there were things that she told me early on in our relationship that was so special and that she only trusted me with and never told anyone else. And she used to come online just to talk to me and go on webcam with me for hours and hours. It was so great.But then she starts to tell Valentine those things and starts talking to him all of the time. Not even two months into our relationship, when I had to go it was "Bye," and with him it was "No! Stay! *clings*" which really pissed me off. And he was the only person she would tell things that she would lie to me about and say "No, I didn't tell him that," and I later figured out she lied to me.I kept telling her "I'm not comfortable with you being that close to him," "You're too close to him," and all she keeps saying is that I'm restraining her from overcoming her problems with being open to people, since she's very reserved in her thoughts. And guess what? A year later, just about 2 weeks ago, I figure out that he's been asking her constantly if they can date, since our arguments ABOUT him had JUST ended us. And she was denying webcam with me all of the time because of "homework" and webcamming with him for 3 days in a row.And all I could tell her when she admitted this to me was that I WAS RIGHT. There was a relationship forming and I wasn't just being a psychotic, jealous, evil boyfriend who was trying to make her have no friends, like she tried to convince me.For some reason, she thought that the more she dejected him just not to hurt me instead of because she didn't really want to would mean more to me, and it doesn't. I wish she didn't have the feelings at all, but she wont understand that.And NOW, AFTER we've finally broken up, she decided not to talk to him anymore when he says he thinks they are pushing it too far too quickly. And she says she cried afterward because she realized how much of an idiot she was being, but I think it was because she wouldn't be able to talk to him anymore.But NOW she doesn't want to talk to me anymore either, and I just feel so extremely horrible at the fact that she's been slowly emotionally cheating on me and I've been right all along for almost our entire relationship, my first relationship too, and... I can't take it. I'm so sad right now, and I wish she would remember all of our good, intimate times together and only love me again. ='(.
View related questions:
ex girlfriend, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2011): Aww! I'm so sorry!I wanna just give you a hug :)
A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (2 September 2011):
 You will eventually get over this. Even though I'm not fully over some things that happened with me, I know that I will be soon. It's normal to feel this way after a relationship, especially since it's your first. But you have to remember that there is a better person out there for you and that she's not the one for you. She wasn't willing to be honest with you and put your feelings first and you don't want a relationship like that. But you will eventually get over it. You just have to remember that there's someone better and when you find them, you'll be a million times happier with them than you were with her. Hang out with friends, study and find some new hobbies and that will also keep your mind off of her. Thinking about her will bring you nothing but pain, so try to occupy your mind with other positive thoughts. You will feel better. Hope this helps.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2011): I say that it is better this ended. She disrespected you a great deal (and herself and this other guy, too.) Emotional cheating is very damaging.
I know it is hard but I say you should move on. I'm very sorry you've been hurt this way. But if you argued about this guy for a year and she refused to give him up over you, then I don't think it was meant to be. She sounds to me like she wants all the attention and to get what she wants, not willing to consider the other's feelings....
...............................
|
