A
male
age
30-35,
*abriel Love
writes:Hey everybody. I'm actually new here so I hope u all can give me the best advice y'all can give. Ok I'm actually 17 yrs old n my gf, L, is also 17. We've known each other 4 actually a month now(I know it sucks) n we love each other very much. To tell the truth I and L had 2 keep our relationship a secret since I'm actually a malay(a race in my country) n she's n Indian. This is because she studies in an All-Girl's school n since we're not the same race, it will cause alot of gossips in her school. Not only that she also have some guy friends who are racist to my race so we have 2 keep our relationship a secret otherwise it will cause a big havoc, However we had a problem until we have 2 break up. Wat happened is I have a cousin, N, who tot she was cheating on me on a guy, R, who is a classmate of my cousin in my cousin's school. N went to ask him if he's dating my gf n he told N yes. However from what I've heard from L's best friend, R was actually looking out for L since they're best friends n R didn't want any guy 2 bother L so he told N that. My cousin actually just moved in with me and he doesn't know much about my other cousin, J, who I hate very much and she also hates me too. So N went to ask J to see if she really hates me but she just ignored him. So he had to use my name and my gf's name to see if she really hates me n you know what? He even said that my gf is cheating on me 2 her. Then the next thing I know L wanted me to break up with me cos J send a rumor that made a havoc in L's school(J and L study the same school). L also said that she had a hard time explaining to her friends in school especially her guy friends to cover up the problem. She said a lot of hurtful things to me such as she wont care if I die or something but I know she was emotional n didn't meant 2 say those things to me. However that was a week ago n I recently talked to her n she said that she really didn't care if I died or something. But she actually had an argument wit J just now so she could have been emotional just now. However I can tell she meant what she said to me. She is okay with me as friends now but I actually want to be more than just friends with her. She also said that maybe, MAYBE we could be together at the end of the year after our S.A.T test but I doubt that since I'm not to sure if she will accept me back but I do hope that will happen. Please give me some advice that I should hear.
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female
reader, Amp_Teddie929  +, writes (22 January 2009):
 For a start, concentrate on your studies first of all. She probably did that cause she still care and would want you to fail your exams. Plus, there is a higher possibility in getting her back as you have fulfill her wish you to do WELL in your exam.
Which girl wouldn't want it. Even i would want my own bf to do well as you will get a good job for a better future. If you are poor, how to support her and give her a comfortable, stable life...
You can try getting her back as a FRIEND first!
Getting her back as a gf will be too fast and she still haven't entirely forgave you yet right...
Let her cool down with her closest friends and try handling that cousin of yours. Sounds soooooo troublesome =.=
This is all i could think of for now...
Good luck
A
female
reader, Amp_Teddie929 +, writes (22 January 2009):
For a start, concentrate on your studies first of all. She probably did that cause she still care and would want you to fail your exams. Plus, there is a higher possibility in getting her back as you have fulfill her wish you to do WELL in your exam.
Which girl wouldn't want it. Even i would want my own bf to do well as you will get a good job for a better future. If you are poor, how to support her and give her a comfortable, stable life...
You can try getting her back as a FRIEND first!
Getting her back as a gf will be too fast and she still haven't entirely forgave you yet right...
Let her cool down with her closest friends and try handling that cousin of yours. Sounds soooooo troublesome =.=
This is all i could think of for now...
Good luck
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A
female
reader, PunkyPippi  +, writes (21 January 2009):
 Sorry, but if it was really meant to be, you could make it happen. People cloud the crap out of their lives over such foolishness.
Be her friend if you can handle it and just that. If you all can make something work in the future, great...
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A
male
reader, Gabriel Love +, writes (21 January 2009):
Gabriel Love is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks but the reason is very clear actually. U see she told me that she has a lot of stuff happening such as homework, tuition etc n its very complicated but after what happened her life became even more complicated. She blames me 4 it but u no what it is my fault. If I wasn't too suspicious of her n kept my mouth shut this wouldnt happen. The main reason y after our SAT test is cos this year we r busy like hell this year so d only chance we can really be together is after the SAT test as we'll b really free after the test
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A
female
reader, HonestyAunt  +, writes (21 January 2009):
This is very hard for you. You have to listen to your girlfriend and, hard as it is, wait until the end of the year. In the meantime, be friends with her and be a good friend - offer her support and listen to her but don't make any move to try and be anything more. You can tell her you like her more than a friend and that you will wait, but don't do any more.
The whole problem has arisen from listening to others and not your girlfriend. This has to stop, now, for you to have any chance of working things out. So try what she has suggested. If you remain a good friend she will know that you still care and you can be trusted, and at the end of the year, try again. And if you do work things out, make sure you are completely open and honest with each other about everything. You are in a hard enough position already because of other people's predujices, so you need to make sure you trust each other and don't take notice of what is said by others who may have an ulterior motive. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, PunkyPippi +, writes (21 January 2009):
I'm sorry, that was so confusing.
She either wants to be with you or she doesn't. Why the wait for an SAT test? I understand someone saying they hate you in anger, but all of this garbage with friends and go betweens--- it's so grade school.
You sound like a nice guy, but this girl seems a little bit odd. Talk to her and ask her straight out what she wants and take her at her word.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2009): Firstly, i no it probably feels that you cannot live without this girl and that she is the best thing to ever happen to you and you lvoe her very much. You will also more than likely be sick of people telling you that its not real love because of your age. You are only 17, its a very young age to be serious about each other. I suspect the girl doesnt mean what she says ie. That she wouldnt care if you die. She is just trying to hurt you at the moment and my advice to you is move on. Sometimes you just cant be friends with an ex. Get you head stuck into school, make time for your friends, go out and have fun. Love will find you when you least expect it.
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