A
female
age
36-40,
*ixieGwen
writes:Im super frustrated.my ex and i have been in contact *been broken up over a mo*.We've slept together 2x, he's supposedly dating/hanging w/ someone we know, rubbed it in my face as much as possible *to get me jealous it seems*.Seems hes into hanging w/ her cos she pays for everything.Last time we hung out -He made sure I knew that women want him but he's not sleepin w/ them and brought up our relationship: y it didnt work.Said he has issues but is working on them.Complimented me alot and smiled the whole time we hung out *it was weird,he seemed too happy*.I mentioned a drunk guy I hung out w/ that randomly got naked *drunk people r funny at times*.I told the drunkie that I'm "not like that".So my ex said well, if he was attractive, would u have been like that?" I said he was but im still not like that.My ex still has this cutesy lovey dovey keychain I got him, displayed in his car.He gave me a back breaking hug *like he didnt wanna let me go*. He's weird.Somedays it seems like hes stoked to talk/see me and others..just mediocre. Like he's keepin me at a distance but also pulls me in.When I bring up that im currently workin/things goin well he doesnt acknowledge them *we broke up cos he was no longer feeling it but i found it to be bs cos he msged/wanted to 2 me daily.he's been having financial/work/home probs shortly before we broke up*.Still does but seems all kinds of crap is happening to him: comp died, phone wasnt working, got hit by a car while on bike,behind on rent/bills.He only msgs randomly: recently to tell me he got hit by a car and made a joke out of it.I asked if he was comin to my show and he said he would if he didnt bike to work and I said im only doin it that night and he could bike another time.He said "yeah.. I havent had a PBR *beer* in awhile anyway so" obviously to show/make it seem he's only about the beer.I dont expect us to be best friends. I just wish it could be normal.We could talk, enjoy each others company. Not try to make the other one jealous or rehash WHY we broke up. I told him that if anything happened between us - itd be upto him *he broke up w/ me*.Why is he like this with me? hot n cold. pull me in/push me away. super happy to see me in person but mediocre over the phone. great relationship/talk bout future plans/have me meet the fam/cant get enough of me but then break up cos he's no longer "feeling it".etc
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female
reader, PixieGwen +, writes (27 August 2009):
PixieGwen is verified as being by the original poster of the question thx for the reply. i actually saw him tonight.He dropped off a piece of my art *so i can borrow it for my show*.He ended up stayin & havin a cpl drinks w/ me/doin karaoke.despite the fact he was dyin to rub the chick hes semi dating in my face when we talked awhile back. he didnt mention her a bit.He said it was awkward cos my friends know what happened w/ us.I said it doesnt need to be awkward.He also claims he doesnt hang w/ me cos hes broke = stayin in. I said so what, if u didnt/did have to pay - wouldnt make a diff.If u dont wanna hang thats fine, i dont need excuses though -its no biggie. So he asked if i was free over the wknd.So we made plans to hang for the wknd. Aside from that. him leavin was awkward. it was like a date - where u dont know whether to kiss the person/make the first move..so u stand there.instead we hugged twice.I intended on him just droppin off the art and was surprised he stayed seein he complained bout being super tired.He claims he cant change the way he is & i said he could if he really wanted to. I dont know if we'll really hang this wknd - but i didnt initiate it, i just called him out nor did i ask him to stick around all night.it is what is i guess. - which is really nothing.
A
female
reader, Twistedbaby420 +, writes (27 August 2009):
 You both need to break off contact for a bit, and give each other some space. It sounds like he's either confused about what he really wants (and he's not going to figure that out if you guys are hanging out) OR he's realized that being single isn't so bad, because he can do whatever he wants to, with whoever he wants to, and still have you as well. Respect yourself and don't let him jerk you around anymore!
If he wants a relationship again, he will let you know.
Considering that you two broke up only a month ago, it's most likely going to be awhile before the two of you can be "friends" or "normal" with one another. Give it time.
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