A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my ex broke up a year ago, was very messy, we were together for a year and a half.I have a new boyfriend, everything is great, I love him to pieces. I don't think about my ex in any way other than a friend but my current boyfriend has a problem with him because he hurt me in the past etc.After a long time of me not giving my ex my new number, we had a chat and came to the conclusion that we'd like to at least salvage a friendship from what happened as we did have a good relationship, we just werent right for eachother.This is the problem.. I don't think my current boyfriend would like it at all if my ex had my number/we spoke (he doesn't know we speak at the moment and I know that's horrible) I just find it all so silly and childish now that two adults can't be friends after having a long term relationship over a year ago..So what can I do?I don't want to lose my current boyfriend, but as I said I think it's silly my ex and I can't be friends. He even said he respects that I'm in a relationship and has no romantic feelings for me, but I don't think my current boyfriend will understand that.
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male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (18 June 2010):
 Ain't nothing wrong with being friends with an ex, but you need to understand that there are so many ways it can go sour for your current relationship. You may have to talk with your partner about the terms of this friendship... eg, will it be a once a week phone call? will you be seeing each other alone? will your ex feel comfortable meeting you and your boyfriend together..? And so on and so forth...
Anyhoo, hope it works out for ya :)
A
female
reader, trueatheart +, writes (17 June 2010):
 Hi,
You need to respect your current boyfriend's feelings on this one I think. Not everyone is comfortable with the idea of ex partners hanging around in the background as "friends". You were once emotionally and sexually involved with that person. Can't you be friends with your ex without having his phone number? Do you see each other when you're out and about in passing? I would say that's fine but secret phone calls to your ex is a bad idea! Lose his number, it's not worth the hassle.
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