A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've fancied a guy for ages, but i know he's got a reputation, and he is a bit of a player. I know he likes me but i also know he doesn't do relationships and just wants friends with benefits. What is people's opionion on this?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2008): i've been there many times & honey you are setting yourself up for a fall.These situations always end badly. This guy likes you yes, but after the sex gets boring he will move on, if he doesnt already have a few friends w/ benefits aside from just you. Ask yourself if you can handle late night calls, no commitments, no gifts for your b-day, no calls just to say "im thinking of you", no man to turn to when life gets rough .Not to mention can you handle seeing him w/ another girl? Cuz really all he'd be doing is using you, so if you were to bump into him w/a girl, theres not much you can do....think long and hard about what you're getting into.
A
female
reader, Artistry  +, writes (3 July 2008):
 Hi there, You are very young, but not too young to think about what you really want, for yourself and your life. This is the time, when you are trying to make decisions, which could affect you, well into the future. Friends with benefits. Is there a way to determine, who will receive the benefits? You are a young lady, he as you say is a young man with a reputation, you also say he is a player of sorts, not into committed relationships. Alright, first, since you are possibly, going to be the other party in this non-relationship, will you be satisfied, as I see it, with being used for benefits. This is a big decision, if you enter into this, what will he do, will he keep this non-relationship to himself, I don't think so, you will more than likely be another notch on his belt buckle, and he will spread your name around, and you then will get a reputation. Young women with reptutations are looked upon differently than young men with reutation, it is a double standard. Young men will be knocking at your door, more than likely, not to be your friend, but for benefits. Think about this long and hard, and if you come to the conclusion, that you can live with your name being bandied about, as a person who supplies the benefits, expecting nothing in return, than go forward with this arrangement. For my part, I'd rather keep myself for someone who respects me and cares about my feelings and my reputation,
and will not see me as someone to be used, abused and cast aside, with no thought of even learning who the person is and what they are about. You must respect yourself, and demand respect from others. As you get older and wiser, it takes time, and you realize what effect the choices you make, will have in the long run, you will be able to make choices, which will keep you from regreting whatever you decided, which was based on something that someone else wanted you to do, and was against your better judgment. Think hard, and love yourself first. The respect you have for yourself is a very important value in life. You like this person, if I might offer an opinion, because he is seen as sort of exciting, but exciting people can sometimes burn you and leave a scar. Take care always and think long and hard, as I mentioned, about entering into such a relationship at this stage of your life. Your good name is worth gold.
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A
male
reader, Peterk5699 +, writes (3 July 2008):
 If he wants to be a swinger/player then that's just him really and it won't really change.
You may like him but as has been said, he's a player and thus your relationship probably wouldn't last I'm sorry to say.
It'll be best if you just stay friends because it'll all end in tears.
Good luck!
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