A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, thanks for reading this! Basically i have two friends who always have things going on, whether it's getting dumped or attacked or someone dying, over the past 5-6 years i feel like i can't breathe between problems. i'm there for them 100% and i even got panick attacks cause i think it was all too much. i know most of these problems aren't their fault but sometimes i feel like they act like victims and eventually get hurt. For example picking guys that clearly will hurt them and they choose to say they're "the one", if it happens once it's ok but after that one time they should be careful and realise that it's not just themselves they are hurting but everyone around them. One of them has no family here so i'm her family and i feel the responsibility to be there all the time and sometimes i wish she'd just let things be good and happy for once. i wanna be part of their lives but it's gettin very tiring for me emotionally and i have tried to step back a lil so i'm not as much in it but i still feel like there's always something and sometimes it's both at the same time. i'm just tired, help!! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your answers, i do try n think this will b the last time but clearly it goes on n on, sumtimes i wish i was living sumwhere else!but i will try n step bak a bit, thank you all xxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): I have been in the same boat, but i always think that maybe one day i will need them to listen to me, so i try and be patient. If you feel you cannot take anymore though i would have a quiet word with them and say you are feel a bit under the weather with all of their problems or just keep quiet and not be too available the next time they come around with all of their troubles.
take care
xx
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (28 May 2008):
 Some people have a good heart and want to help everyone. Over time, their friends and people near them get used to dump their problems over the one person who will solve them. That seems like a good thing to do: you have a problem, you take it to the "repair shop" and it will get fixed without your having to do anything. Of course, that means that the good-doer ends up overwhelmed with problems of his/her own and other people's problems, and he or she tends to leave his/her own problems for later.
I suggest you tell your friends that there are some things you just can't help them with, like, for example, picking the wrong person as a boyfriend. And, also, give some time to yourself: to solve your own things, and to do your own stuff. Give some time to yourself; you need it, too. Let your friends work a little harder. That will show them how to handle their own problems.
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (28 May 2008):
 i know how you feel hun i have my own problems and i try and help everyone else around me, and it does get tiring and stressful and you just wish they would wise up and be happy and not do stupid things..but we all learn from our mistakes..i just took a step back and if they need me they no were i am but other than that i dont say or do nothing and i take that time to focus on myself and what i want in life as time is short and their is so much todo.sometimes you can only be their when it goes wrong to hold the pieces together, but sometimes theirs no helping it falling apart. just how you pick them up..so pull yourself back from the firing line and be their as the medic to fix them once the battles over instead of being their with them? does that make sense ? thats my opinion aphex
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