A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i found out that my husband had some kind of relationship with another woman (don't know how far it went). He assures me that nothing happened, but the emails that he sent her, the words he told her sounded like he was either in love or had a huge crush. i don't trust him and the idea of him falling for someone else is killing me. don't know what to do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2009): just probe more........investigate the full extent of his 'affair". when there is a threat to your marriage you need to eliminate all threats in order to survive. meaning, find out who the other woman is, how far the relationship has gone. don't assume that because he says nothing happened and that he will stop, that he will definately stop. look at the posts on this site, the cheater never just stops the first time they are caught. they continue until the new relationship destroys the marriage or until they are spent. i know you are very emotional, cannot believe that he would do this to you, but you need to try to pull yourself together and strategise going forward. you want to salvage your marriage isn't it, then instead od being defensive, be pro active, investigate and find out the threat and eliminate it. please do your homeowrk.
A
male
reader, Your friend  +, writes (27 August 2009):
 He could have been having a 'non sexual fling' like having fun and being cheeky without actually doing it. Its sort of like an option to an affair.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (27 August 2009):
 Perhaps he didn't sleep with anyone else, but, if his heart is elsewhere, then you do need to take this seriously. Would he have sent those e-mail messages if he were absolutely happy? Something is the matter, and you need to find out.
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A
male
reader, Ifyoudontmind +, writes (26 August 2009):
well, read over the words carefully. I mean typically when you stumble onto things via snooping .. that is what you did, if you look hard enough you will find it.
You assume worst case scenarios. You know what I mean, the wording is always difficult when you dont have the context to apply it to keep that in mind as well. For instance, I found a picture on my wifes phone of a naked guy.
Thats fairly incriminating, however, the naked guy wound up being a picture she took at a party and sent to his very embaressed girlfriend. Its all about trust.
Keep in mind you are married, as in commmitted in front of God , family and friends.
Hopefully this helps
-iydm
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