A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My uncle remarried in March. I fell out with my uncle's stepson though he is much older than me (29). He used to be pretty rude to me in private, on the other hand he was occasionally decent like helping me with my speakers etc when I didn't even ask him to. I only kept quiet because my uncle really babies him (he lets him live at their place without paying rent etc.) and my mum is in a bad place and is close to her brother so so I didn't want them to argue. I rolled my eyes and ignored him because he just seemed very immature with his stupid childish remarks. I think he has anger issues too because I have him on FB and most of his comments are very whiny. However he said something really bad about my ex girlfriend so I snapped and told my uncle how awful he's been. My uncle said he would speak to him but then came back to me saying that he felt I was making a big deal out of nothing and that I had really upset his stepson ("darling Mike" :rolleyes:), he did not say what his stepson had said. I told my uncle to forget about it and I just wasn't going to speak to his stepson again (which I've done). I am busy right now and if he wants to let his stepson off and be stupid up to him, and also I wasn't sure if his stepson really was upset and maybe has issues he has not told us aboutHowever I was at a family christening this morning where I did have to see him. His stepson started trying to provoke me again, they were talking in my vicinity about virtues and he started saying loudly, glancing at me "I can't stand cowardice, I think that's the worst one" and so on. Obviously trying to provoke meShould I call him out on it or ignore?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2015): Words only have power if there's someone listening, or reacting to them. Ignore, and don't react.
He realizes you don't like him, and I think he feels uncomfortable around you. You're younger than he is and you obviously resent the fact he's a slacker living off his step-dad and mum. He feels like crap when you're around, because he knows you realize how immature he is. You probably give him that look with a bubble above your head flashing "loser!!!" I suggest no matter what you think, don't judge. If he gets out of line, and invades your space kick him out of your house. If you're at his, you just have to put up with the rudeness; as long as he keeps his hands to himself. There's only so much he can say about you. He's nearly 30 and living at home like a kid. You remind him of that every-time he sees you.
You can tolerate his presence for snippets of time. Don't stand close enough to hear him. Make him have to talk loud so people can see the bully picking on the kid. There will be family gatherings; and you will have to be tolerant and prove who's the most mature. It's really none of your business whether he lives off his folks or not. He just may have some issues you don't know about; but that's nether here nor there. Having exchanges with him won't change anything; so shake your head, smile, and shrug it off.
That says a lot more than any insult he can throw back.
My advice? When he starts. Just walk away. Get out of earshot. The good thing is, he doesn't have to live with you!
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (13 November 2015):
 Ignore - Ignore - Ignore. He is 29 and behaving like a 5 year old. You call him out? You are just as bad as him.
And I have to say going to your uncle because this guy said something "bad" about an ex GF of your, makes you look like you don't know how to handle issues yourself. He is 29! Your uncle is NOT responsible for how his stepson acts. And yes, he lives with your uncle, but again... tattling him isn't helping you. It makes it look like a playground issue. You are making a VERY big deal out of nothing.
I would however, remove and block him from your facebook page. YOU don't owe him to have him on there.
That is the thing with family. We don't get to pick them, but we can decide whom we will socialize with and whom we don't. Now there will be times where you HAVE to be in the same room/event as him, but there will usually be plenty of people you can talk to. The more he acts like that, at family gathering the sooner others will notice.
And yes, he was trying to provoke you or goad you - because he think it's either funny or he just don't care.
He might have some issues and not know how far to take banter or joking and instead of trying to get to know you - he decided he just don't give a flying duck.
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