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Five year old girl masturbating, is this normal?

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Question - (25 July 2007) 20 Answers - (Newest, 29 September 2009)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Is it okay or normal for a 5 year old girl to masturbate, I see her in her bed humping at night and wanted to know how to handle? Thank you.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2009):

All she knows is it feels good, she does not know it is about sex at all. If you let her or if you don't depends on your judgment. If you do let her, make sure she knows to be in a private place and make sure she doesn't hurt herself.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2009):

umm well ive been doing it as long as i can remember if im honest. From what i can remember i was either 3 or 4....honestly, you don't need to worry. She's just learning about her body, that's all. It also doesn't mean that she will start having sex at a young age, I didn't, I lost my virginity a year and a half past legal age (Legal age in UK that is. Which is 16, you may not agree with our legal age but what i'm trying to say is i waiting for the right person and for it to be legal). It will help her when she is older too, in her sex life. Some girls these days don't experiment with themselves therefore, when their parnter tries to please them they are sometimes shocked in a bad way and don't like what their partner is doing. At least when your daughter is older she will be able to tell her partner what she likes therefore, be satisfied. I know it's a long way before she should even think of doing anything with someone but it will help for future i think.

I think you hear more about boys masterbating than girls, which is why your most likely finding it a bit daunting, but i assure you, it's normal.

I hope what i've said is of some help to you.

(:

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A female reader, Bramby United States +, writes (24 September 2009):

My daughter is turing 5 in a few days she has been touching her self for quite some time. I have explained to her that she needs to have clean hands so not to "hurt" her self. I also told her that it's ok to do, only in her room or by her self. Not when she spends the night, not at nap time at pre-school.not with her toys, only her hand. Don't let anyone see, don't tell all your friends because it's private. I also explained to her that she need to wash her hands after. So not to have, "potty" food, or "potty" face, or ehat ever she is going to touch. Then we of coure talked about only she can touch her self there.. I want her to be comfortable with her body. I think this is a way to become that way.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2009):

This is very normal for a child to masturbate, especially for young girls. They like to use their fingers inside their vaginas as it feels good to them. What's the problem? She is a young girl..leave her alone to do as she wants with her young body! Buying her a small, tapered vibrator is highly recommended and better than her trying to find an object to use inside her and it won't do her any harm even if she uses it every day with plenty of lubricant, show her exactly how to use the vibrator correctly to give her the best feelings. Let her know it is 'normal' for her to find pleasure in this way. If you try to discourage her from touching herself, she will just do it even more when she is alone which will make her think it is wrong to touch herself intimately. She is a child and a human being after all!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2009):

Well i am a 16 years old boy and i have a little sister. She's 8. We sleep in one room and i have caught her many many times doing this. I didn't tell my parents but instead went online and read everything concerning this. Because when i was 8 i didn't masturbate at all. I talked to her and told her if she's gonna do it, to do it when Mom and Dad are not at home and somewhere where i cant see her. And if you say it is Normal and harmless I'll leave her do it somewhere in private.... and i hope this will resolve the problem. Cuz if my mom sees her, I'm gonna get in trouble and my sis's gonna get in trouble.

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A male reader, ChaseTerrier United States +, writes (1 May 2009):

I think it is normal. Too your daughter, it is not a sex thing yet (that will be in about 5 to 10 years), it is a "feel good thing". It is the same thing as eating a cookie for her. As long as she masturbating in private of her own room, I do not see the harm in it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2009):

I think that you should tell her that it is not appropriate because that kind of thing is not for younger children like you it is for mumy and daddys to do

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2009):

My daughter is 8 and has done this for years on a soft toy. I have alway considered it harmless and not discouraged it.

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A female reader, AshleyLovesYou Hong Kong +, writes (17 April 2009):

Yes, it's normal. Don't worry! Maybe she's just starting earlier than other girls of her age! :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2008):

the same thing was going on with me when i was 5:(

i just dunno is that normal(i guess i just grew up pretty fast) i hope my mom didn't noticed that cause as much as i remember i didn't do it that fastD:

i don't even want to think about it(though i still masturbate:()

well it's not that bad

i think there isn't much wrong with her just evolving faster

i don't like those kind of parent talks with kids and i dunno should you make that big deal of it or she might get emmbarest from you:(

sorry if my advice isn't that good:(

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A male reader, Bladejunkee United States +, writes (16 September 2008):

Bladejunkee agony auntI think she sounds somewhat young for masturbation, but I suppose, she could be ready in anywhere from 4-7 years, yet still, if you walk in on her masturbating, you could stay to talk to her, but don't stop her, or she may get frustated or stressed. if you talk to her about it, she may begin to understand that, it's normal for her to do it in a private area. Some might suggest to buy a quote on quote, toy. I on the other hand would not, if she gets toys and such, she will become more attached than would be natural, and may prefer the size of a "toy" and never have a totally useful relationship. Knock on her door an don't tell her to stop, just leave, as she may be streesed and masturbation is better than future cutting and slicing, and it relievs more stress. Good luck with your troubles.

your reviewer

Bladejunkee

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A female reader, Cassidy26 United States +, writes (11 September 2008):

It's completely normal, don't worry. I have a 7 yr old daughter and she's been masturbating since she was 4. At on point she was using objects that were somewhat dangerous. So I bought her a bullet vibrater just so she wouldn't hurt heself. I told her how to use it properly and also showed her some techniques using her fingers and the vibe so she would get the best out of it. If your doughter's going through the same thing, I would sugest buying her a small vibrator. The one I got for my daughter has many different functions, which allows her to experiment even more. And even if she's not using potentilly dangerous objects, buy her one anyways. She'll love it!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2008):

I have a five year old that has recently started "masterbating". I myself was very alarmed and at the next pediatricians appointment had him examine her to make sure nothing "sexual" has happened to her. Upon asking her, why in the world she rubs her teddy bears there or humps on a pillow.. she replied it makes my pee bug laugh.. She doesn't know what she's doing, she just knows it feels good. At five it's hard to sit her down and give her the sex talk. So for now, I make sure she is doing it in the privacy of her room or in the bathroom and I try to understand how it was for me. I also have an 11 year old that I have had "the talk" with. She is very mature for her age and knows alot about sex and consequences and so on. I was 12 when I had sex for the first time, so I want my children to be educated. Unless you see physical signs of abuse or are suspicious of someone that has been around your daughter.. relax and remember how good it feels for your "area" to be touched.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008):

Stop it. Those of you that type in this is not normal have no business saying anything.

This is absolutely normal for all kids. We all want our kids to stay away from the area that please them but this is not one to keep away. She also at this age should know that a stranger can not touch her any place that's not ok

with her. As parents we panic when our baby has any

sexual interest even if its just a good feeling. if she was molested there are signs. Humping is not what she said

she said masturbation. We all do this even if you cant remember it. Some times even if you think you have been molested this may not have actually happened. But if it did it was your parents fault not to give you the info needed. All my kids know about sex and we talk about this openly. Yes even if she likes a boy in class she tells me all about him. She even asks me when is a good time to kiss a boy. She has even told me about people that creep her out. Now that is what is a real relationship with your kids is. We talk about sex openly. We tell them what is good and what is not good. We even suggest things that we find feels good. She may be a kid but when giving her that much info about keep safe and do this and all the tips she asks us openly. We have been told this is not a good idea by some but the problem is they suggest makes no sense. We need to imposer them by giving them all the info as they need it. She knows more than a 15 year old and she has a newer look at things. I wish I was given this much info so I would have made better choices as well. She will find out from her friends or some one at school why should you let them teach the one thing you can help her with. Be her parent show what she needs to don't have her stumble around trying to understand herself because your afraid of it. Teach her about her sexuality she will thank you some day our 16 year old who is also open about sex talk at dinner tells us about friends she knows that had sex and now has a baby on the way. She has sex but she lets us know and with a condom in one hand thanks on the other she respects her self to know what she needs to make good choices. She has been a key to our choices to teach our kids all about sex sooner. Oh yes she even tells us if she liked him enough to have sex with him. They know they can come to us. This was something we decided to do after reading a lot about this and found it key to keeping them safe. our 16 year old first time was in the house and yea the boy was surprised how open we were as I handed him the ribbed kind. Does it really bother people to know that your girl is sexually active. I would rather be part of her steps of her experience than to be told by a doctor the months left. So don't panic just guide her to keep her safe and make it fun.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2008):

::sigh:: Some people here are just speculating. It is normal for young children to masturbate. (I learned this from my developmental psychology class and some books on children) Babies even masturbate. The most important thing is to tell the children to remember to do it privately. Make sure not to make a big deal out of it. If you make masturbation a “bad” thing, then they may develop sexual problems later on it life. Kind of off topic, but remember to tell your child about being touched by strangers and such. It IS possible that your child could have been touched by a stranger (You can ask her), but it is also possible that she's just doing it because it feels good (That's why everyone does it; For little kids though, it's not really a “sexual” thing. It's all about pleasure, like eating delicious foods). I don't think you have anything to worry about though.

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A female reader, h20gal United States +, writes (25 July 2007):

h20gal agony auntYes, please realize that this is absolutely normal. I wish that I had at hand the name of the author/title of book, but there are quality studies about this, and it is quite well known in child development. I urge you to research this to place your mind at ease. Your child will eventually learn to keep this private, like going to the bathroom, but at a very young age, they have not learned this social skill. Your child is on its way to being an open, sexual creature, just as we all are, and masterbation at a young age, although not done by all children, is certainly not unusual. Please be gentle with your child, as you certainly do not want her to grow up not feeling comfortable with the joys that your body brings you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2007):

I was 4 years old & I was molested. This could be a sign that she was molested as well. You need to talk to her about it. I used to hump things when I was 4 and I had no idea it wasn't appropriate. The only reason I did that was b/c I thought it was normal b/c I was molested. I never told anyone I was molested either b/c I thought there was something wrong with me.

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A male reader, blazee United Kingdom +, writes (25 July 2007):

blazee agony auntum nope that does not sound normal. i looked it up and most masterbating problems written by people are about there 11yr kid +.

are you sure she is actually humping? at may be something conforting her.

have a talk with her and ask her.

but she is only 5 so mabye going to a specialist for this is the best option?

all the best:)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2007):

Yes, it is normal and to be honest that is around the age I discovered that I could do that. I think the best way to handle that is when you see her doing that again tell her that is not something you approve of. Once when I was younger (4 maybe 5?) I had no clue it wasnt something to be done and I ended up pleasuring myself in front of my mom. She immediately scolded me and I haven't forgotten that scold to this day. Others may say let her do that but for me I have found that it has lead to a whole other realm of finding ways to climax using it to go to sleep or just because I was bored and all this is before I knew what sex was or even what my private area looked like.

Nip it now before she gets used to it then when she is older explain it when you talk about sex with her.

Hope that helps.

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A female reader, rachy-baby-helps United Kingdom +, writes (25 July 2007):

rachy-baby-helps agony auntwell, masturbating is perfectly normal. Lots of young people do it. Your young girl is probably just curious. I would say that it is perfectly normal and okay for her to be experimenting like this. At her age, her hormones are not yet fully functional and she may be more mature than she really should be at her age. Don't embarass her by walking in on her or anything. If you feel she will understand, then talk to her about it, but don't make her feel uncomfortable.

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