A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so I tried to have sex with a girl. We were in the club and making out and I was hard like rock hard. We decided to go to the beach (it was winter but Cyprus is not that cold in winter.. but still) and started making out there, I was still hard. Then I got inside her and I didn't quite enjoy it.. it just didn't feel they way it had to and when I say that I don't mean pain etc.. I didn't enjoy it.. I actually started thinking "is this what sex is? if so when are we going to finish"? I had no clothes on whatsoever and it was cold so I started getting soft. After these thoughts came in my mind.. this happend like after 5-10 minutes of fine intercourse. I kept asking her is it in? She replied "how can't you feel it, it's so big" coz I really didn't feel anything when I was inside her, just a slight thing.. I would prefer masturbating than having sex at that moment.After that when I got soft, I couldn't get inside her again coz I was too soft.. it hurt my ego in a way. Anyway am kinda getting away from my point.. it was my first time that I had intercourse and I couldn't complete it coz of that.The other problem is that I think that I got the wrong idea about what sex is. How can I change this? After my humiliating experience I don't feel I am as hard as I used to be. I really dont know if I am hard enough, I am hard but not fully hard not fully erect and sometimes am afraid I won't be able to penetrate a woman again which is very frustrating. Is this mental or ? I am 16 and she was 25 and it was my first time.I don't have any health problems. I breakdance and my fitness is really good and my body is in a good shape but what's wrong with me? Why can't I get as hard as I used to?
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female
reader, Crazy-Candice  +, writes (11 February 2009):
 ---theres a lot of HYPE over how mind blowing sex is, and even I was a little bit not dissapointed but even I thought
''is this sex? this is sex? is this it? hmm!'
Its really confusing. But trust me I've done 2 virgins and they were both nervous and it can be a litle awkward at first.
Don't overthink the whole thing and end up as a guy who just wanks and never has sex.
Like someone before said, It's all in the mind, When you are sure you like something you enjoy it alot more than when you are confused etc,
and When the CONDITIONS are right, (i enjoy sex about 5 times more in a really hot room)
then something is way more enjoyable.
I dont know if you are a drinker or a smoker but Its kinda like when I have a cigarette and I'm not sure i want it or I'm feeling guilty then I dont enjoy it much,
But when I really want one and Im excited to have one I enjoy it about TEN times more.
I suggest maybe you need emotions aswell not just some girl you picked up in a club,
And I'm not being funny right but the chick may have been a bit of a slut so maybe her vagina wasn't that tight, no offence.
With the right girl, a drink to relax a bit, good sex music, and a warm room/bed you will have a hot passionate fucking session not a random romp on a cold beach.
Cx
A
female
reader, jma0685  +, writes (10 February 2009):
 I think that the uncomfortable first experience it has put a bit of fright in you. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Sex is unbelievably enjoyable, you just need the right circumstances to enhance the experience. The next time that the circumstance presents itself and you are going to have sex, let things go. Don't over think it and try to be selective with your partner. Sex is much more enjoyable in my opinion when it is personal and passionate. Make sure you are comfortable. I'm sure once you get your confidence up and realize that was a one-time occurrence you will enjoy the act much more. DOn't put so much pressure on yourself as that can effect your experience as well. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2009): The problem lies within your mind not the erection, sex can be the most amazing feeling maybe your just looking 4 that special person to connect with; but i have to admit my first few sexual encounters were rather awful even after years of being with the same guy, maybe when u realised that sex is meant t be enjoyed by both parties yuo will become comfortable within your body... just concentrate on feeling your penis and everything thats being stimulated go with the flow and enjoy stop worrying about the other persons feelings and concentrate on your own... ya seem like a good guy
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