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anonymous
writes: I've had a few boyfriends and none of them have worked. About 3 weeks ago my boyfriend finished me for one of his other mates.He told me he loved me and we had sex a few times. I really thought he was the one for me. We was so happy together. I thought it would never end. I loved him so much and ever since he finished me I've been so depressed and upset and just don't know what to do. I've cried every night since and can't get him out of my head.I feel that I will never find anyone like him and it's hurt me so much. All my friends don't like him but I love him so much and I was happy to lose anyone for him.My question is what should I do: Should I keep trying to win him back or just try and get over him?Please try and get back to me. It would b appreciated lots. Thanks a lot Todd X
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2005): Me being male and trying to explain my answer to your question is a little different, but I have had the same experience and I still haven't forgotten my ex g/f. But I have found that it helps me work with my present partner to sort things out before we have any problems. In short I guess it would be better not to forget, but use the experience in another relationship.
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reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (30 March 2005):
 I'd say you'd be better off trying to get over him. Easier said than done, I know. I say this all time, but it bears repeating: if you change yourself to "win" someone back, you're changing who you actually are, and obscuring what makes you unique.So think about the "ledger sheet" on this relationship: He said he loved you, then he threw you over for someone else! That's not love; that's not even common respect. Even though I know you wanted to hear those words, he didn't use them sincerely.I'd be inclined to say that you were used in this relationship, but that doesn't mean that is was a total write-off! Think about how much you learned about yourself and what you want in a loving relationship. Even more importantly, you have a good idea about what you /don't/ want... and that will be someone who has sex with you and claims to love you, whilst thinking nothing of dumping you as soon as he's found someone shiny and new.You sound like a lovely person, but you might be a little low on self-confidence. Maybe your boyfriends are finding you a little clingy..? That can be a big hurdle for any new relationship.My suggestion to you is to keep looking, but be a little bit more selective. There are only 3,000,000,000 men in the world, you know! There's a special person Out There for you, mark my words. Make sure that the man at least respects you before you give him your whole heart. You're worth that! Think of it as saving the best of yourself for the man you love.Good luck sweetie!
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