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female
,
anonymous
writes: About six months ago my ex-boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me - it was a messy and drawn out breakup, with him not being able to decide whether he wanted to settle down with me or live the single life for a bit. There was no closure on this breakup really. I've recently met the most wonderful guy in the world - we've been on a few dates and he is the most amazing person I've ever met - but I feel like I'm already falling for him, big time. This would normally be good! except I know in my heart that eventually we'll break up, and that he'll break my heart. He's out of my league really, and he's also a really genuinely nice person, but I know deep down that it won't last. I don't know whether to carry on seeing him - I feel quite fragile, and I know if I get too attached to him it'll kill me when we do break up. You may say that there's always a chance, but I think girls know when it's just too good to be true - I know that he could do a lot better than me, and realistically we'd never go the distance. I'm so terrified that I don't know whether to carry on seeing him and get more and more attached, or to just finish it now! my ex is also still in contact, although he knows I'm seeing other people now. any advice? thanks!
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female
reader, Aunt Audrey  +, writes (8 May 2006):
 Why do you think this guy is out of your league? He obviously finds you attractive and enjoys your company to have taken you out more than once.
All relationships can potentially break your heart, no one knows for sure when a relationship starts if it'll last, it's a chance we take hoping that he will eventually feel the same way as you given time, and that it will go the distance.
If your worried your falling too fast try to consciously take thing slowly until you feel sure he feels the same way, and you are comfortable that he is as happy with you as you are with him.
I see no reason to stop seeing him unless you feel you are not ready to embark on a new relationship so soon after ending the last one you were in. Most people tend to feel vunerable after a split, but not all relationships are the same, and not all men are out to break your heart, he could be a genuine person who is also looking for love, only time will tell.
Draw a line under your last relationship, it's over!
Enjoy the time you spend with your new man, don't expect too much too soon, and who knows what will come of it.
Good luck!
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