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female
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anonymous
writes: I really need help -I need to know whether this guy fancy me or he is checking something else:Scenario 1: He'd be checking me - noticing little things that I wear... but may be it is his job as he is the big boss...Scenario 2: Since I've known he's been checking on me, I've been one or two times flirtatious with him too checking him too...But then I stopped and I went to not talking to him at all...since I realised what I've done, I freeze when I am in front of him...I feel like he has been tring to get me to talk to him because:(i) When he got dressed up in a costume, he smiled at me and was hoping I would be asking him something - we had direct eye contact and smiled at each other... not sure...(ii) He was in the background in a video meeting ( I was at home) that I was having with a colleague (in my colleague's office) for a few seconds and then looked at me and walked out ... was that planned to check how I am performing or?? I am new by the way at work...I was very suprised at that and so does the colleague I think...(iii) He tried to come in the office lunch place and tried to get to talk to me...by pretending he was talking to other mums and walked towards me...to try to get my attention... ( my opinion on that btw is if he wants to say something, why does he not just do that?)(iv) I had low self - esteem for a long time ...I just feel he is being pitiful towards me, probably have noticed I am not a very confident person and trying to get me to talk to ease the situation between us/all...I avoided him a whole week now and we met today and he has not had eye contact at all with me... and blanked me not even a greeting as he usually does... what to do?I said hi but I don't think he replied to me (to my colleagues walking behind me?) or he did but we definitely not have had eye contact!Is it pity? Is it all in my head? And worse, I think there's one or two people who I think have noticed...HELP!!I will talk to him but now I am scared of perhaps his response as I got to ask him things about work...Thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2022): Is this guy your boss? If so, what the hell are you thinking! You are hired to do a job not flirt with the boss, or any other member of staff for that matter. Be professional. If you're looking for a date look for it outside of the workplace. It could end very badly for you if you keep flirting, making eyes, or telling others you fancy the boss.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2022): What you've described seems like a whole heap of nothing. All in your head. Your boss might be noticing your weird behaviour around him and trying to shut any ideas that you might have down.
For you to be new at work and concentrating on your boss instead of your work, doesn't say very much about you.
To improve your self-esteem, concentrate on bettering yourself by being professional at work and not behave like some love sick puppy. Do not rely on validation from men, but get your self-esteem from your own achievements, your professionalism and conduct.
Wipe all ideas about males in your work place from your mind and concentrate on your work. In short, grow up.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (3 April 2022):
 OK, OP
YOU need a huge dose of chill the F out!
You JUSt landed a new job. That LAST thing you should concern yourself with is whether he "fancies" you or not.
Be more professional, OP
You come off as if you live in some romance novel, where the "boss" goes chasing off all the new female hires!
NO, just no.
YOU were hired to work, not flirt or make eyes at your boss.
I don't know your age but this is not appropriate behavior in a work environment. Grow up. Be more professional.
The workplace is NOT where you go fishing for romance.
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