A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi guysI have been with my boyfriend for around 6 years now we have split up once or twice in that time, the last time was now about a year ago and only lasted for about 2 months, since then we have been absolutely fine, and are living together and happy, my boyfriend has an 8 year old son who I get on with really well etc etc. When we first got back together things were a little strained with my family and my boyfriend, as when we split up for those two months my boyfriend had a minor breakdown and quit a promising job in nursing. My family were really annoyed with him for this as they had supported him through getting into the career, and he was doing really well (I was annoyed a little too because i felt had wasted talent but accepted it was his decision). My mum (only parent I have contact with has slowly come round and now talks to my boyfriend, and they dont get along famously or anything but there is no animosity however my grandparents are proving to be much more difficult. When I last went up to see them my grandfather sat in a completely different room and refused to acknowledge my boyfriend, and my grandmother made comments within his earshot. I think very highly of my family, and had a reasonably strong relationship with them, but the way they are acting over him is pushing me away from them. My boyfriend accepts he has made mistakes, and freely admits he comes across as cocky sometimes but doesn't mean it (he has admitted this both in front of my mother and my grandparents) he is working hard to do something about his situation and wants to support us both so I can carry on with my own career by doing whatever deems necessary. I understand he is not the perfect man in their eyes but he is trying very hard and I am happy with him. How can I resolve the animosity between them, or am I doomed to have them never get on?Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 May 2010):
 They have to sort this out between themselves. You cant force your grandparents to accept or like your boyfriend again. And even if YOU find him to be good enough, he simply isnt good enough for them. And no matter how you feel, their mind is set and nothing YOU do or say will change that. Its all up to him and their own willingness to accept him as he is.
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