A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:ok so im 31, and have formed a very very close friendship with a sensitive, shy guy. I've known him a year, fell for him 6 months ago, and have spent the last 6 months looking for signs he feels the same way.I feel I have to say something or Im going to burst, but I have poor self esteam and dont think our friendship would survive if he didn't respond how i want him to.So, we are already great friends, he is very "touchy feely" (arm round me, holding my hand on stairs... that kind of thing) I know a lot of his deep secrets, he carries a dumb stone i gave him in his pocket everywhere... He's my "date" at big events.All my friends are sick of me talking about it. I NEED to say something. The question is - how, and what?
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female
reader, MonksDaBomb  +, writes (25 February 2009):
 I know exactly how you're feeling. I was friends with a guy in high school - met freshman year; really hit it off. We'd sit very close to each other at lunch, he'd always walk me home after school, we would hang out every now and then over the weekends (sometimes dinner and a movie) - that sort of thing. By the time senior year came I had fallen for him hard. I truly thought he was the one since we had so much in common and we got along great. We went to prom and homecoming dance together. I finally wrote him a note near graduation (since we were going to different colleges in the same city and felt I had nothing to lose), telling him how much he meant to me and saying I was willing to take the friendship to the next level. He wrote me a note back saying he appreciated the kind words but didn't feel the same way. We still hung out those remaining days before graduation but it was so awkward between us that our friendship fizzled. I haven't seen or spoken to him in nearly two years; he is now married (which I am so happy for him).
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is just be very careful if and when you do tell him. Make sure you read the signs right because if you value his friendship and you make the same mistake I did, you very rarely can never go back to "just friends."
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