A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am a 44 year old female. I have never been married. I met a guy about 6 months ago and have really "opened" up to him. When I say this I mean that I told him it's very painful for me to have sex and he thinks that this is the reason I've never been married; because I'm too afraid to get to "that point". Which, I think, after all of these years is true. I've always been afraid of a long term relationship because of the sex. I've had sex with this guy and I don't enjoy it at all. I do it for him. I'm just wondering if I will ever be able to just even be comfortable during intercourse. I saw my doctor and she told me to see a therapist. It's not psychological. Even when I insert a tampon I'm in a lot of pain. I was born with a very narrow urethra which I needed surgery for and I'm wondering if maybe my vagina is very small? I've had orgasms, but never with intercourse. Now he is getting frustrated and I'm afraid I will be losing another guy due to this problem. I also suffer from depression and this is part of the reason. Please help if you can.Thanks,Nikki
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2010): How do you know it's not psychological? Your doctor seems to think it is and frankly you should either get a second opinion or try the therapy route.
It could well be psychological, even inserting a tampon in there you could be unknowingly clenching due to a mental reaction to having something put in there. There could be many reason for this kind of reaction.
You also seem to have the idea that it's too tight because your urethra was narrow, funnily enough just thinking this way could also have the same effect. Again this a psychological effect.
Go see an obgyn or another doctor, get a different opinion and if this one too thinks you're physically fine and recommends therapy then I'd advse you to try it. Psycholgical issues can have a really profound effect on us physically and make our bodies do weird things that you might never associate with a mental issue, don't dismiss it so easily, it might help.
A
female
reader, JK8833 +, writes (23 July 2010):
Seriously, you have got to see another doctor. It maybe Dyspareunia, but there are a lot of other physical things it could be too. I suffer from chronic pain (not with sex, just daily pain) and I have seen doctors who said it was all in my head. Finally after 35 doctors I saw someone who gave me a correct diagnosis and is working on a treatment. In my experience, it seems like a lot of docs will say it is in your head if they don't have an answer. You just have to keep trying to find someone who can help you. I wish you luck, sex can be so amazing if it doesn't hurt you. I hope this guy sticks around until you get the treatment you need. I am sure he is frustrated, but keep being honest with him and hopefully he willbe patient. Maybe you can be really creative in the bedroom, at least until you figure out what the problem is.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2010): It sounds like Dyspareunia. You can find information about it here: http://www.healthscout.com/ency/68/474/main.html
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