A
male
age
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*ogical Dude
writes:I have recently married a woman who is 50. I have noticed that she is nearly missing all of her labia majora (outer lips of vaginal opening), and other parts that are usually located within the labia majora. Additionally, her clitoris and its hood is extremely small. I had my wife examined by a gynecologist. The gynecologist did not acknowledge the abnormality. I have, like any other guy, seen hundreds of pictures of vaginas on the internet and this appears abnormal to me. The good doctor failed to address my concerns and answer the questions.How will this affect our sex life and how common are these abnormalities?
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clitoris, sex life, the internet, vagina Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Nime  +, writes (24 February 2011):
 Logic, I'm sorry for my first response, but you only gave us half the story! Reread your original post and ask yourself if it doesn't SOUND like it was written by a controlling husband. You didn't tell us at first that you decided to see the gynocologist together (how does "I had my wife examined" sound to you?) or that you were unable to have sex.
I am happy you said this:
"My wife is the center of my world and we want both of us to be reasonably satisfied with all aspects of our relationship."
We judged you wrongly, but you really did leave out some crucial details.
A
male
reader, Logical Dude +, writes (24 February 2011):
Logical Dude is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am 61 and I have been intimate with at least half a dozen women. Based on some reading I did last night my wife's condition resembles "vaginism" an involuntary mascular spasm.
Medical practitioners are frequently unprofessional, out of date and plain disinterested in patients in this part of the world. Some comments are showing smugness and lack of empathy one usually associates with juvniles. Thank you all very much.
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A
male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (24 February 2011):
I think I prejudged you - you didn't mention you were unable to have sex and I presumed wrongly. Do you know about the condition vaginimus? Search for it on Google, maybe this may apply?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 February 2011):
 If the gynecologist did not aknowledge the abnormality- then you'll have to assume there is no abnormality. Otherwise ,what 's the point of consulting an expert , if then you challenge his professional expertise- on the grounds of your porn watching expertise.
You say that you have not been able to have vaginal intercourse, by which I assume you haven't ben able to penetrate her. And since size and shape of outer genitalia and clitoris have got nothing to do with vaginal penetration, what is the impediment exactly ? does she feel pain ? which kind of pain and where ?
At her age, it could be vaginal dryness . You say the internal lubrication is adequate- but that's no so easy to assess theorically, it's one of those "the proof is in the pudding " cases , it's adequate when penetration is smooth and easy,otherwise is not so adequate. Vaginal moisture comes from both plasma seepage from vaginal walls and from Bartholin's glands, and both systems may be affected by age related hormonal changes.
Or, penetration may be made impossible by vaginism - painful spams that make the "opening " of vaginal walls
impossible.( Mostly it has psychological causes )
There could be several other things making intercourse difficult or impossible,- I suppose a gynecologist must know them all, and I am very surprised that during your visit to the doctor the focus was on " does my wife 's vagina look OK " rather than " we have not been able to have intercourse " Did you tell him that ? What did he answer ?
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A
male
reader, Logical Dude +, writes (24 February 2011):
Logical Dude is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSome of the respondents have judged the question rather negatively. Going to the doctor was our mutual decision. We have been unable to have vaginal intercourse after after several months of marriage, extensive foreplay, adequate internal and liberal external lubrication. My wife is the center of my world and we want both of us to be reasonably satisfied with all aspects of our relationship. Prejudging things is detrimental to the spirit in which we pose question in community such as this site.
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (23 February 2011):
 Like it was stated already these are not abnormalities, they are just the uniqueness of the woman. I know what you mean by seeing many different ones throughout your life and porn isn't the best example although I have seen videos with women of all different shapes and sizes because the industry is moving away from that one stereotyped look.
Your wife sounds perfectly normal, this wouldn't affect pleasure for either of you or her wetness. The affects to your sex life will only come if you view this negativily. In my opinion what you have described would be attractive, also keep in mind that these parts do chance as well when aroused.
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A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (23 February 2011):
You are really going to hurt your wife if you continue with this obsession. You haven't described anything that is wrong. In fact, i've seen a few women on here worried that their lips are too big and want surgery to have them removed because their guys have commented on them looking abnormal!
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A
female
reader, Nime +, writes (23 February 2011):
These are NOT abnormalities; your wife's vagina sounds completely normal. Every woman's vagina is different, that's why the gynecologist didn't say anything. Make no mistake, the gynecologist has seen many, many, many more vaginas than you have, and not just the limited type and look that wind up being airbrushed and surgically altered and then filmed in pornography. You might therefore say your exposure to what real vaginas look like is rather limited.
I think it's incredibly arrogant and horrible of you to take your wife to the gynecologist because you don't think she looks normal down there. She has lived with her vagina for 50 years and done ok by it; who are you to step in and tell her she isn't normal and then force her to have herself checked? I hope your wife musters the courage to leave you, but you have probably already beaten down her sense of self-worth to the point where she doesn't have the strength. Get one thing straight: your wife does not exist for YOUR pleasure or YOUR sex life. She is her own person. Leave her alone and grow up!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2011): What religion is she? Sounds like she has been circumcised (or some would say genital mutilation). Female circumcision is still practised in many parts of the world. The labia is removed as much as possible, as is the clitoris and hood, it is practised mainly by the religion of Islam and is often most performed in the Middle East and Northern African countries.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2011): ok...like marieclaire says, all vaginas are differents..right? But you say she is in her 50's...did you know that the hormones in the females changes at this time?? And all this things affect the vagina too. And not just the hormones, the pregnancy and the delivery makes the skin and the form different.
You says like any other guy, you have been seeing pics of hundreds of vagina...I am wandering if all that vaginas that you were seeing are from women in their 50's?? Maybe not. And thats why they look very different. Young woman has VERY DIFFERENT VAGINA that the OLDER WOMAN.
You should to know that.
And is not nothing wrong with that, is completely normal. The time doesn't come alone.
Don't make feel her wierd just because their vagina doesn't look like 20 years ago!!
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