A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, ive been seeing my boyfriend for about six months now. Everything is great apart from the bedroom department. He completley pleases me in every way but i only happen to be able to do it to him in the trousers department. Ive tried everything ive read in a kama sutra book but its just not working, he just doesnt fee anything, am i doing something wrong? Any suggestions?ta very much Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2008): maybe hes got something on his mind? dont blame yourself until you know exactly whats wrong. take things slowly, start with gentle kisses.. then start going further, a good build up to sex always helps relax you both and makes you want more. ask him what he likes and doesnt like. try massaging him, candles, music. use your imagination.....
good luck x
A
male
reader, core_confusion +, writes (15 January 2008):
 Start at the beginning and go from there. When you first met your partner I'm guessing that they didnt hit the exact spot 100% in the bedroom first time round, they probably needed a little direction right? (most of us men do from time to time!) How did you direct him? Try listening for the same little hints from your partner. Everyone has their own little give aways when you reach the right spot, moans, breathing, we're all different but there's usually a sign. The Kama Sutra is something which is pretty over rated, its great for ideas to try but ultimately it's not going to tell you what your partner likes, the only person who is going to do that is them. Ask questions, talk things through and listen fro the signs.
Good communication when making love can work wonders, for both of you. Talk to him, ask him how he's feeling and make that part of you love making. If you talk to him and start to tell him how you feel it will make him feel at ease to do the same. There's the ususal 'lower' 'harder' 'oh yeah' but they're only half of it. Try a little praise 'you make me feel so good when you...' Ok, your man might know what to do to please you but if you talk to him, he will talk to you and give the information that you want to know.
My final suggestion is this. If you feel that you trust your partner 100%, try submitting to him for the night, tell him that you are his for the night and will do anything to please him. Ok, this is starting to move into a potentially darker area and it's upto you to set any boundaries that you feel need to be set but if he feels that he is in charge then maybe he will direct you as he wants and you will find out what you want to know. Besides, submitting to your partner for a while can be a whole new experience.
Ultimately, whatever you do, talk to him and find out. It may well be down to you to initiate the conversation but ultimately you will find out what you want to know.
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