A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okey, this is a story I rather not tell but I really need some help on this one.A week ago I met some boys at a party.. we all became really drunk and later that night we went to one of the boys' houses. A lot happened that night, but to tell the story in a short version, I had sex with one of the boys and 2 days later I get a angry message from the boys (ex)girlfriend, he had a relationship for six years. I swear i didn't knew about that relationship, I only met the boy that night and so it is pretty screwed. Because now everybody in my city starts to hear about it and I become the bad person. You have to know.. normally I really am just the shyest girl you know. I don't know how to handle this.. I know I can not undo it, but really, it is the only thing I want.I don't even have feelings for this boy, it was just a big mistake. I really don't understand why that happened that night. But I never felt more sorry in my life before. There's so much I wish I could express.. Oh gosh,I am just so fucked up. why why why why..I don't deserve this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2011): A prime example booze will distort decision making significantly. Cut alcohol permanently out of your life and these problems will be considerably reduced. Simple.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2011): Since this is out of character for you I think the alcohol was at play here. You should never have sex when you're drunk or drugged in some way. Hanging around with complete strangers in this state is very dangerous, you're lucky that nothing serious happened. Don't hang around with those people anymore as they took advantage of you. Only low-lifes will have sex with someone when they're drunk. They are the one's who should be talked about. If I were that man's ex gf I would be angry at him for taking advantage of someone.If I were you I would stop drinking period. Your friends will understand that this was a mistake and eventually things will calm down over time.
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A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (1 March 2011):
This girl has no right to be mad at you. In the first place, if someone should have protected her, it was his ex-boyfriend. Quite simple.
As for the rest of the people, well. You have to face it, the world where you live is just like this. If a guy has a one night stand, he's a winner. If a girl does, she is a slut.
So, you better behave according to this rule. Even if you think it isn't fair.
Another reason you should avoid one-night-stands is because they are not healthy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2011): You don't say whether you've done this before or not. Whether you've had one night stands before or whether getting drunk and getting with guys is your thing.
If this is something you normally do then you need to stop getting into those situations, in fact it's not a good idea to get that drunk with a group of boys you've just met in the first place, you should always have girlfriends around to watch your back.
Look if this is not something you normally do then don't worry about it. Just don't ever do it again, have more respect for yourself than to have one nights stands with strangers, you see one night stands are as Forest Gump said like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna to get, this includes rape, an STD or even a guy with a girlfriend who finds where you are and gives you a rep as a homewrecker.
You'll get over it and forgive me for being blunt but fuck what other people think. You didn't know he had a girlfriend and you too were used by this guy so you're not to blame, you made a foolish decision but it's not worth getting depressed over.
You'd better start understanding why that happened though so you don't repeat that same mistake. I don't mean shagging someones boyfriend I mean going off with a group of strange boys to their place and having sex, not a good idea at all and sleeping with one of them was probably the least bad thing that could have happened.
As for your rep, who cares OP, the people who matter are on your side and everyone else can feck off, it'll be forgotten in a while anyway. Just make sure you don't become known for this kind of thing and please, understand that a lot of guys are going to label you as an easy ride now. So you have be extra cautious when out drinking. Guys will now think all they have to do is get you drunk and lead you back to their place and you'll have sex with them. So take care of yourself and be cautious, because you were easy for that guy that night and if you get into that situation again you may well let another guy use you that way again.
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