| A
male
,
*aulee74
writes: Hi,Im with the greatest girl, for most of the time. We met 6 months ago through a dating site, and we hit it off straight away, as if it was fate that we had met. Unfortunately she had planned to go away travelling for a year, so I decided that I would meet her for a month while she was away to see whether the relationship had legs. It was good while I was away with her, by then we had been together for 3 months, and we got to know each other really well while I was away with her, so much so that i quit my job and stayed for another month. I found that we did argue, although I put it down to us being on tip of each other and having no personal space. Once i got back to the UK, and my girlfriend got to Oz, we are staying in touch by MSN, and we seem to always be falling out. I know its not the best way to stay in touch as things get misconstrued, but even so i have found that in the last 4 days things have been really bad. Everything I say she has taken the wrong way, and she gets easily offended by things i say that I didnt intend in that way. I find that when we argue it is hard to reason with her, and we cant really resolve the argument as we are both stubborn i guess in that way, although i generally am the one to try and backtrack and pull back from the brink before it goes too far, but even this doesnt help. I find that once we begin the argument it generally follows the same pattern, and i generally plays out in the same way most times we argue. Its very draining, and my girlfriend can get very angry and say some very hurtful things, and I find that by the end of it i want to get away from her. Alot of the times we have argued it has transpired that she is worried about something else, or it is another issue that is worrying her, and she takes it out on me because i am in regular daily contact with her. She is insecure about alot of things and i believe she has had bad relationships, some where she has been hit. One argument we had while i was away she tried to goad me into getting so angry i would hit her, which i of course would never do. After we get to the head of these arguments she is always very apologetic, and she says she will try not to let things go down this road.. but it does occur like this again. The thing is most of the time we are good together, i have never felt like this about anyone, and i really feel this could be "the one" After these arguments i can forgive and forget relativelt quickly, although if like in the past few days we have a few in succesion i do get worn down, and start to think of finishing it. I love her with all my heart though and really want to work this out. Any suggestions?
View related questions:
insecure, msn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Danielle934 +, writes (20 April 2006):
 I know exactly how hard long distant relationships can be! I was with my boyfriend (now husband) for almost three years when he left for the military. We had a long distant relationship for 7 months and we also got married after the first 3 months. We would usually use messenger to talk, but we also spent time on cell phones as well. EVERY time we talked we would argue about something small and redundant. We both got to the point where we wished we didn't get married, but we had to realize that it is very hard and stressful being in a long distant relationship... especially for him being in a different place away from all friends and loved ones which made him the one to start 99.9% of our arguments.You need to try and talk to this girl, let her know that you understand she is under a lot of stress. From my experience it is almost impossible to stop the fighting unless you can convince her to stop using you as a stress outlet (which she shouldn’t be doing in the first place but it is a hard thing not to do). To make this work you need to AT LEAST agree that you won’t stop talking for the day until you reach a point where the fight is over and then you reassure each other of your feelings, otherwise you won’t stop feeling like you want to end the relationship.Hope this helps you out and good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2006): Don't ding me if this goes the wrong way, but why don't you forward this link to her? Don't say anything else in your next email or MSN convo with her. Just ask if she would be interested in reading something online, and send her the link.
...............................
|
