A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What does it mean when a guy says to "enjoy the moment." we've been in a monogamous relationship about 6 months and have talked about how seriously committed we are to the relationship. But every time he says that line, I feel like he's saying he doesn't want to be with me or that the moments are going to end. Does that not mean he wants things to become long term? please helpSincerely,confuzzled woman Reply to this Question
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female
reader, FluffyPie +, writes (8 October 2010):
 I told my boyfriend that I can't imagine my life without him, after 14 months of relationship, and he comes up with "me neither, but that doesn't have to make you scared of what's next". For some reason, reading all your answers and your post make me question him.
Just tell him that you're looking for a long term commitment, and give him an ultimatum, in case that he wants to keep you around until he finds someone else. You have the right to voice your expectations, as long as they're realistic.
Best wishes!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2010): This is the boyfriend of the poster. All I meant is that when we are out with friends and trying to have a good time she should be happy and not moody all the time. I have never cheated on her and have no plan to, jeez give a nice guy some credit will ya people.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (8 October 2010):
 Most guys who say "enjoy the moment" are just using you for sex. It appeals to women's love of mystery, and attraction to guys who might disappear at any moment.
Occasionally, though, relationship-type guys use this line because they think it sounds romantic, or because they see players using it to get laid. In other words, nice guys are emulating more sexually successful guys.
If *every* other part of the relationship indicates a solid commitment to the relationship, he's the latter. Otherwise, you're being played.
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A
female
reader, charliesdevil73 +, writes (8 October 2010):
 I agree with CaringGuy, your man seems to be the one who wants to be able to enjoy the moment but be able to wander if necessary. Some men just don't like commitment and some are afraid. Tell him you want a different answer than that one and see what he says. If it's an answer similar (evading a commitment) then he probably is in a casual relationship, whether or not you think you are.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2010): Hi there,
I can totally relate to what you are saying here , I was in a long distance relationship for 2 years , hoping and wishing after 6 months we would think more about being at a closer distance and relationship - To always hear "enjoy what we have!" and even him going to the extent of explaining to me like a child about the state the world is in!! In hindsight - to divert my attention from the commitment aspect. Sadly i had already fallen in love with him and carried on upto 2 years travelling back and forth hoping things would change , and they didn't , he wanted an uncommitted relationship forever! He waited to break this news to me though once he had me hook line and sinker. He was actually very emotionally unavailable and a bit of a narcissist now i look back on it.
Your guy might not be ready yet or the same as my ex however my advice would be to give yourself a time limit on how long you will wait for him to progress. You could go on like that forever and be in a relationship that isn't right for you , so see how it goes but more importantly think of your needs xx
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (7 October 2010):
'Enjoy the moment' is usually the calling card of a man who's just in it casually. At 6 months, I think a couple should be talking about the future in some way, or at least committing to each other a bit more than your boyfriend appears to be. 'Enjoy the moment' sounds awfully casual to me. That doesn't mean it won't become long term, but I'm a male and this sounds like man talk for 'You're all right at the moment, but I might decide to wander off and someone else".
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