A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello. This is a strange situation.I got dumped. And, my reaction is obviously normal. I'm hurt. However, she asks to be my friend. I say "No!", and I tell her in the form of a comparison of "You're at a restaurant. You have 2 choices on the menu. A pizza with wonderful toppings, and a pizza that's plain. Which will satisfy you?" She answered with the first option. I left her, seeing she wouldn't take me back.That was a few months ago. Now, whenever I see her, instead of greeting me, she just looks away, all hurt and in a lot of pain. I know this means she's trying to, or is ignoring me. However, why?And, it seems she's devastated by my rejecting her less satisfying friendship offer, as she frequently goes around everywhere, outbursting "Why's life so hard?".And, some buffoon keeps on honking as they drive past my house. Could it be her and her family? If so, why are they doing that, every time they pass by my house? I swear, it's the same, damn horn, every time. Same rhythm, too.Thanks, in advance.-Bill. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2012): I don't think she's over it. When she looks away, she's all in emotional pain. I can actually see that.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2012): You said you didn't want to be her friend so she is ignoring you. There's nothing to explain she doesn't sound devastated at all. It sounds like your the one that's devastated and your obviously having trouble letting this go. And someone driving by your house once a MONTH? Oh come on that could be anyone. Let it go she clearly has.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2012): Maybe she regrets dumping you. You could ask her, by text.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2012): well she wanted to stay friends, you said no, so she's going with what you want by acting like strangers. what's not to understand?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2012): You said that you didn't want to be friends with her so why would she greet you or talk to you?
If someone's no your friend you don't go running up to them shouting "HEY" when you see them do you?
As from that car,that could be anyone,your reading far to much into that!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2012): Cerberus, I guess even a year from now, she might still feel very hurt, from my rejecting her. Or, would that be exaggerated?I think it my case, it's a mixture of both cases. She's mad as a hornet at me for turning down her "Bronze Medal" in comparison to the "Gold Medal" I was wanting.And, how shall I investigate the damn car thing? I don't want to be some creepy nut job that has his camera, video recording the passing traffic, for the oddball case that keeps honking. But, should I involve the Police, if it happens one more time?Because, I think it's her or a family member/friend of hers, as she's mad as a hornet, and she knows I hate it when people honk around me for nothing. If only I could catch whoever the buffoon is in the act, I could expose them to Police, as misuse of a car horn is illegal. (In this case, just to annoy home residents probably falls into this category, I assume?).The family's not too concerned about the damn car thing. However, they just don't see ninnies in the same way I do. Something tells me it's related, though, as it never happened before I got dumped and rejected her friendship. Oh, the idiots who keep honking when passing houses better not do that any more! Swear to God, I'll freakin' get the FBI to plant hidden microphones on my property.... it happens at LEAST once a month.... no fail.Um, what about the outburst? What's that supposed to mean? I hope I can get an answer on that, please? Thanks.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2012): Well Bill, it's basically like really wanting a plain pizza because you simply can't afford all the wonderful toppings. Unfortunately you've recently discovered that you're wheat intolerant and can't have proper pizza anymore. So you have to make do with a crappy salad. When you see pizza on the menu you feel really shit because you're in the mood for even a plain one and just can't have it. You'd really just rather never see another pizza again because you just can't have them, so when you see a pizza you used to really like you tend to look away.
OP dumping someone can be just as hard and sometimes harder than being dumped. At least when you're dumped you can become angry and that fades, but the guilt of hurting someone after dumping them, that can last a while. Especially if you cared about them and they shut you out. The feeling of someone who once cared about you now hating you and not forgiving you can be hard to take. Or in the very least it dents the ego.
Look I've had a few girls take it very badly when I rejected their "we can still be friends" crap at the end of relationships. They either get really pissed about it or they get really down. I guess some just have this idea that they can keep you as a nice friend and not have to grieve the loss.
The car thing sounds strange, you should investigate that further. That would annoy the hell out of me.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2012): But, what does she mean by her outbursts?
Is she devastated by my turning down her friendship?
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 April 2012):
 Well its simple she offered friendship and you turned it down, so she is doing what you wanted now and ignoring you. It is as simple as that. It is what you wanted to move on now and forget about her. As for the car that goes by your house, there is no guarantee that it is her, it could be anyone so try ignore it.
...............................
|
