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How do I know when I'm reaching orgasm?

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Question - (17 April 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 18 April 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hey there.

So i've been dating this guy for 3 months now, and i really enjoy being with him. We have sex regularlay, and it is always amazing.

The thing is, before him i never really orgasmed with anyone else, so for a while i was still in wonderment as to what it feels like. Now i'm pretty sure i've had many orgasms with this new guy, but sometimes, just when it starts feeling absolutely amazing, and it keeps feeling amazing, i just dont know at which point i'm supposed to let go? it likes feels intense, but i feel like that is it working up to my orgasm rather than it actually being the orgasm. it feels amazing but there is no definite way of me ever knowing whether i have finished or not. so i tend to just stop what im doing because i get worn out, or because i dont think it can feel any better. i may be sounding really stupid but can anyone help and explain to me how to make my orgasms better or how to define when ive reached it? am i supposed to feel some form of release, like guys do? cause that doesnt happen. Please help!!! x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2012):

I don't think you've had one yet. When you have an orgasm the point of maximum pleasure lasts a few seconds then rapidly fades but leaving you feeling content and no longer in urgency to keep going. Often you will also feel lethargic or sleepy and this is very different to how you were feeling just a few seconds ago when having the orgasm. This is because during orgasm your body releases different chemicals and hormones and that's what causes you to feel very different right after its over.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2012):

You have obviously never had an orgasm. It hits you like a train, you can't possibly be unaware or unsure of it. You lose control and your body starts shaking violently and it is the best feeling in the world. It sounds you are on the right path, probably you just need a little more time.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (17 April 2012):

person12345 agony auntThere's a very definite change from build up to release. Even on orgasms that were really wimpy there's a definite change. It sounds like you've just been getting close. Maybe really close. I know this will sound weird, but it's not that uncommon to reach a point where you feel a little tired and really want to just stop there right beforehand.

Like You Wish said, get to work on your own and experiment. Keep going until you feel a real release. Then you will know! A vibrator is great for this because there's no question you've had one as the hypersensitivity after orgasm will be much more apparent. Some women also use massaging shower heads or the faucet of their bathtub.

Not to be too creepy, but I may have to go take my bf to find a hot tub soon...

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (17 April 2012):

YouWish agony auntMost definitely you feel release. You really really know if you've reached orgasm, and it's feeling good because it's the build up.

You should work on this yourself, alone, and get to know your own body, because an orgasm is amazing. Imagine a sneeze. There's a buildup, and then an explosive release. This is an orgasm, but the release itself is waves upon waves of pleasure radiating from your clitoris straight through your body. Some are more powerful than others. I've had some that felt like a beautifully agonizing throbbing sensation, and some that are so powerful that cause me to shake right down to my toes curling. I've had these both alone and with someone else. Different stimulation cause the sensations to be unique.

To share something personal, one of the most mind-blowing orgasms I've ever had was in a hot tub where the water jets were pleasuring me in front while my husband was spooning me from behind. I very nearly passed out from the intensity, and my knees and legs felt wobbly for the rest of the day, and he thought it was incredible too.

**Ahem**

Anyways, you will know, but I suggest some exploration of your body and how it reacts to sensation on your own. If you have a massager or vibrator, it will help, and if you don't have one, they are a great investment!

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