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Doesn't his plan make me look like his bitch???

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Sex, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 June 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 12 June 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Okay well I've been with my boyfriend for 3 months and we got onto the subject of sex. We are both virgins and I'm his first girlfriend. so anyways its hard to really explain everything but um well he couldn't understand my reasons for waiting and thought it was all his fault. We broke up and got back together... well okay I realise I suck at explaining but now instead of being so exclusive and close he wants us to be more open. he wants to be able to look at other girls and if he touches he doesn't want it to feel like cheating on me.

Usually I would be like HELL NO! But I really love him and I have a feeling he'll grow out of this stupid ass phase. (And honestly I don't think he'll find another girl) so I'm giving him 3 months till I go back to school to end this because I won't be able to trust him when I leave... what do you think? I'm sooo damn confused. I realise what he's doing sounds stupid but ARGH!!!! I mean i think he's scared but he doesn't want to lose me but doesn't his plan just make me look like his bitch?... IDK... help I love him but he is being soooo damn stupid!!!!

View related questions: both virgins, broke up, got back together

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2009):

Tell your BF(?) that since you & he are "open" now, the truth is that you've already started seeing another guy and you just lost your virginity with him the other night.

Your BF will probably have himself a complete and total emotional meltdown over this, whether he lets you see & hear it or not.

Call him back after a few hours or a day and put him out of his misery by telling him it was just a lie.

(But when you tell him the made-up other guy story, make sure he doesn't have the time or situation to run out and sleep with some other girl while you're letting this lie dangle in the air. If he does something like that, then this whole lie idea might backfire and create more problems than it fixes.)

This should focus his priorities pretty fast.

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A female reader, The Shadow's Tears United States +, writes (5 June 2009):

The Shadow's Tears agony aunthello,

that is stupid.

unless i am mistaken, a relationship is two people, that love and show there love to each other alone.

i think hes scared to be in a real relationship, hes scared of being "tied down" to one girl.

but i wouldn't let him, because its disrespectful to you.

hope this helps

X:Shadow Tears

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2009):

If he really loved you, he would only want to be romantically involved with you. I think its very disrespectful that he would even mention hitting on other women!

He's also most likely not ready for a real relationship. If my boyfriend ever brought up something like that to me, I'd kick his ass.

There are so many other guys out there that are so much better then that. Is it really worth the heartache? If he wants to be with you, then he should just stick to you. If not, then he shouldn't be in a relationship.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2009):

Unless you want your heart broken when he does something with another girl, I wouldnt stand for it. Its bullcrap. If he cant commit to you then why would you want to be with him?

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