A
male
age
36-40,
*ookingForAnswers
writes:I've been in love with my best friend ever since i met her 3 years ago. She was in a relationship, i'm not the relationship type, things were really complicated because of many things and i never confessed how i felt about her. I'm pretty sure there are mutual feelings between us, but throughout the time i've known her she's slept with numerous other guys. i haven't been able to get as many people, because well, nobody is her.a few months ago we started growing realllly close. So close that i had a feeling that if she didn't have to leave the country for 6 months to work, we'd finally be together.but she did have to leave, and it was really hard on me. i felt like someone had died, and it was pretty hard on her to be away from home (and me) as well. We've never really talked about our non-existent "relationship" but when someone overseas flirted with her and she told me about it... we kind of both said that "we"ll try to have fun for these 6 months and then we'll come back to each others arms"... but again there was never any real talk about a real relationship between us.. just hinting. So after 2 months of her being away, i met someone, we started dating for a few weeks, slept together once and then mutually ended it. that person just wasn't her. in the mean time, she hadn't been dating anyone, saying that she doesn't like the people in the foreign country, and that she wants to focus on work and then come back to her real life. then she got a new roommate. they're a few roomates in the flat, and this guy had the hots for her. at first she didn't really care, but because he's the only one in the house she gets along with, they did grow sort of closer. today she told me that last week they started having sex just about everyday. and she goes to sleep in his bed every night. she doesn't want to be in a relationship with him, they're not "defined" as anything, and she has no intention of being with him when they both get back to our native country. but she also doesn't want to stop having sex with him. it kills me that she's sleeping with someone else, and the thought that it might develop into a relationship is just as bad. does this mean that she's not in love with me, like i thought she was? or that she's gotten over me, and she doesn't plan on being with me that way when she gets back in 2 months?she doesn't owe me anything because we're not in a relationship, but this still hurts like hell.
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male
reader, LookingForAnswers +, writes (7 November 2009):
LookingForAnswers is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI was going to wait until she got back to tell her how i feel. should i not wait?
i mean, i'm pretty sure she knows i have feelings for her, because it's very obvious... but no, i have never confessed because it would be a bit complicated to have a relationship together... but i'm finally ready to deal with that after all these years.
thanks for your answers.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2009): I agree with the previous post - you've made no mention to your friend that you'd like to get serious with her. She's not a mind reader, she doesn't know what your thinking until you tell her. Would you like to be in a relationship with her? If the answer is yes, tell her. If the answer is no, then you have nothing to get upset over, she's just living her life.
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